


Unbound | Sequel to Home |

by topknot32



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M, Redwood Originals, SAMCRO - Freeform, SOA - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:40:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 46,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26461324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/topknot32/pseuds/topknot32
Relationships: OC/Happy Lowman
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	1. Interview

**JACQUELYN  
ONE MONTH SINCE ARREST**

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I ask my brunette best friend as she finishes the final touches on her sleek pony tail. The edges of her face seem harder, slightly harsh in the up-do, but she'd insisted on looking as professional as possible for the interview.

"I have no money and all the time in the world, Jac." Victoria speaks while turning to face me as I sit on the edge of her bed. "It's been over a month. Time to get back to life." 

"Yeah, I get that, but the Sheriff's department? Of all places." My cell phone starts buzzing in my pocket. "There's a thousand places in Charming you could work." She rolls her eyes at me with a smile while glancing down at the phone in my hand. 

"Koz?" 

"He's been texting me non stop since I got back into town." I'd been spending most of my time back in Tacoma, trying to get my life back together after the week Victoria and I had spent in Charming before the boys got locked up. 

The fast, rather intense feelings Kozik and I got wrapped up in made me shy away from the blonde, but there was no denying I felt something for him I hadn't felt in years. Kozik had come to see me when he could, but I'd done my best to remain out of sight over the last four weeks. 

Once I realized the tug in the left side of my chest when I thought of Herman and the abandonment felt from the lack of social interaction with my best friend, who was permanently moved to Northern California, weren't going to magically go away, I'd decided to come back down and spend the weekend with Victoria. 

"And you aren't responding because?" Victoria breaks the momentary silence when she sees me do nothing but stare at the screen. A soft sigh leaves my chest as I look back up at the woman in front of me. There's never been a time in our long friendship that I could lie to her. She knows me better than anyone. 

"What's there to say?" My shoulders shrug involuntarily before I push myself back to lay flat on the mattress. I stare up at the ceiling fan and watch it spin around and around. 

"You like him, Jac. There's nothing wrong with that." Victoria comes over and sits down beside me while taking one of my hands for a squeeze. 

"It could never work between us. We had our fun, but that's all it was." When I pull my gaze from the circular motion I see her with a playful smile. 

"I think he means a lot more to you than you want to admit." She slaps my leg. "Just like I didn't want to admit there was something between me and Hap, but look at me now." Victoria motions towards the room around her. "I uprooted my whole life for a man who's serving fourteen months in prison." The look on her face isn't embarrassed or ashamed, she looks hopeful, like she is excited for the future which is not something I ever saw in her before the Sons. I sit back up and stand to look myself over in the full length mirror.

"Koz is pretty perfect, isn't he?" My heart flutters just a little at the thought of the blonde biker. It's been two weeks since I've had any real contact with him, but the incessant texting today tells me he's not going to give up without a fight. A part of me doesn't want him to. 

"Give him a chance, Jac. Letting Happy into my life was the best thing I could have ever done." 

"Speaking of Hap, does he know where you have an interview today?" I cock a suspicious eyebrow at my best friend and she shake her head.

"He knows I have one He doesn't know the exact location of said interview, though." When I don't respond she begins to fidget with her hands. "Gemma thinks it's a good idea, so does Tara." 

"You're dating a criminal, Victoria. Do you really think you'll just be accepted with open arms by the police force?" 

"It's worth a shot. They might not even hire me." 

"I guess it's not a bad thing to have an inside man." I tease while looking back down at my phone once more.

_Call me when you get into town. I want to see you -K_

"Answer him." Victoria stands and reaches for her purse on the nightstand. "I have to go or I'm going to be late." 

"How are you getting there?" 

"Gemma is busy so I was going to take the bus. She's going to pick me up after." 

"Don't be ridiculous, I'll drive you. We can get something to eat after." Victoria shoves me in the shoulder on her way by.

"Don't use me as an excuse to avoid Kozik. I'm not stupid." 

"I have no idea what you're talking about." 

"That's fine, play innocent, but I just so happen to have an errand at TM after my interview, so I guess if you're picking me up you'll just have to take me there." I open my mouth to respond, but close it when no words come to mind. I know exactly what she's doing and I hear her laugh as she walks down the hall towards the front door. "And if you accidentally run into Koz, well.." Her voice cuts off and I let out a frustrated huff as I follow after her.

**VICTORIA**

The clubhouse is quiet when we get inside and I drop my purse onto the bar top before wandering over to the kitchen to see if there's anyone inside. No sign of a soul. 

"Chibs?" I call out, my eyebrows scrunch when I don't get a response. "Phil?" It's rare that the clubhouse is empty, it's usually an active place with a revolving door or people in and out. Jacquelyn had separated to look for Kozik in the garage, but I hadn't seen any bikes parked in their usual spot when we pulled in.

"Hey, sweetheart." I hear someone speak and I turn to see Gemma. 

"Where is everyone?" 

"Over at Tara's. They're helping her clear out some furniture so she can get ready for the baby." 

"I needed to talk to Chibs, guess it'll just have to wait." She comes over and envelopes me in a hug. 

"How was the interview?" Gemma is the only one so far other than Jac who knows about the job offer, and I wanted to talk with Chibs and Opie about it today. 

"I think it went pretty good. I have to come in for a second, but they told me that's usually a good sign." 

"I just ran into Jacquelyn, you two want to head on over to Tara's with me? I'm sure she could use a couple extra hands." Gemma reaches into her purse for her car keys. "A couple hands with some real taste." 

"Sure. Think we could stop at home so I can change?" I motion towards the business casual attire and heels on my feet and Gemma laughs. 

"'Course, darlin'."

•••

Tara and Jax's house is bustling with activity and the driveway is filled with bikes when we pull up. I can tell Jac is nervous by her silence in the backseat and the fact that she hasn't said much at all since before my interview tells me she’s anxious. Something about Kozik makes her uneasy, and I'm not sure if it's her feelings for him, or his for her.

As I step out of the car Kozik himself and Opie step out the front door carrying an old bookcase between the two of them. 

"You guys the reinforcements?" Kozik jokes as he looks from me to Jac, his face turning a little more serious when he lays eyes on the blonde. You can almost hear his heart stopping.

"I don't know how much help we'll be." I tease as I make my way up the sidewalk. Once the two Sons have placed the wooden shelving in the garage, they come back over, their exposed skin sweaty as the sun beats down.

"Hot as hell out here." Opie complains as he uses the neck of his shirt to wipe away the perspiration from his brow. 

"Builds character." Gemma pats him on the shoulder as she passes the two of them by to enter the house. When I notice the awkward tension between the two blondes, I know what needs to be done and I follow Gemma, latching onto Opie's bulky arm in the process. 

"I need to borrow Ope and Chibs for a few minutes." When I glance over my shoulder I see Jacquelyn standing there looking nervous, but I can tell Kozik is grateful for the chance to be alone with her. " _Inside."_ Opie gets the hint and follows along without resistance. 

"What do you need to talk about?" Opie asks as we get inside. The air conditioning hits me like a brick wall and it feels great after standing out in the heat. I hear voices down the hall, the loudest of which is the Scotsman who I also need to speak with. "Chibs!" Opie calls out and he pops his head out of one of the bedroom doors. 

"Aye?"

"Take a break. Victoria wants to talk." Tara also steps out of the room looking flushed and overworked. 

"You shouldn't be lifting anything." I warn her as she comes down the hall.

"I'll be fine." She heads into the kitchen for a glass of water. "Thanks for coming to help." I follow her and cross my arms over my chest. 

"You okay?" I ask Jax's old lady as she gulps down the liquid. 

"I'm fine. Just trying to stay busy." 

"What needs done?" 

"We're almost finished up. I just needed some of the old furniture out so I could buy a crib and what not." We are interrupted by Opie and Chibs coming into the room.

"What do you need to talk about?" Opie asks as he sits down at the kitchen table and pops the top on a soda. 

"I'll leave you guys alone." Tara heads out of the kitchen and I hear her barking orders to Phil and Miles between conversation about decor with Gemma. 

"I had an interview today." I tell the two Sons and that seems to get their attention. "At the Sheriff's department." Chibs face twists into irritation as his head shakes 'no.' 

"What in the hell are you doin' there?" The Scotsman barks.

"I heard they needed someone for dispatch, so I thought I'd give it a try." The look on Opie's face tells me there's an internal struggle going on inside his head. "Listen, it gets me away from TM for a few hours every night. It'll be good for me." Chibs crosses his arms over his chest and stares at me, his face hard.

"I don' like it." He mumbles after a moment of silence.

"Could be helpful." Opie shrugs his shoulders as he speaks to his brother. "Do they know your connection to the club?" 

"Didn't come up on the questionnaire." I tease. "So no, it's safe to say they don't know." 

"They'll find out eventually, but in the meantime it could be an asset if you have access to radio chatter." Opie seems like he's trying to convince Chibs who doesn't appear as optimistic. 

"I can't spend every minute of my day here, Chibs. I need something of my own." Chibs thinks over his options, knowing he has no real reason to say no.

"Ay, I'll allow it for now." My eyes roll and I can see the muscles in his jaw tick. "How's Hap feel about all this?" 

"He doesn't know, yet." Chibs sits up in his chair and continues to stare at me.

"You tell him before any of this goes through, understand?" I nod my head, trying my best to keep any defiant attitude at bay. I've come to learn these men don't appreciate it and I do my best not to rile them anymore than they already are most of the time. 

"I understand." Chibs stands from the chair and Opie follows as they make their way back down the hallway and I walk over to the window to take a peek outside. Kozik and Jacquelyn are deep in conversation and I decide to wait inside so as not to interrupt. 

My phone starts ringing in my pocket and when I pull it out I see an unfamiliar number flashing across the screen. Almost every time my phone rings by a number I don't recognize, it's the one person I want to hear from most. The phone calls are sporadic and it's hard to plan when I never know when Happy is going to get an opportunity. Every single time my heart flutters and I get those same familiar butterflies I use to when we first met not that long ago. 

"Hap?" I whisper out when I realize there's no automated message like normal. 

_"Hey, baby girl."_ The sound of Happy's deep rasp fills my chest with joy and I wish more than anything I could teleport through the phone. 

"It's early for you." I pull the phone from my ear to take a look at the time. Normally his phone calls are in the late evening, rarely do I hear from him before noon. 

_"I got access to a different kind of phone."_ The mystery in his words makes me nervous, but I know if I question him I won't get a straight answer. _"Makes it easier for me to talk, and we won't be cut short."_

"I'm glad you called. I needed to talk to you." 

_"I'm a mind reader, baby. You wish and I grant."_

"Then I wish you were here right now." I tease.

 _"I'll see you in two days."_ Happy reminds me of the weekly visitation which makes a smile pull at my lips. _"What did you need to tell me?"_ I bite my bottom lip as I consider what his reaction will be. Is he going to be upset, or will he see it the way Opie did and consider the job an asset to the club, if I'm even hired at all. I take a deep breath and prepare to get the secret off of my chest before opening my mouth.


	2. Visitation

**VICTORIA  
SIX MONTHS SINCE ARREST**

The Harley Davidson roars from underneath us as I lean forward and rest my chin on the shoulder of the man in front of me. Six months ago I'd be complaining, with sore legs and a wind chapped face, but now? I don't mind so much. It's weird the things you get use to when you have no other choice. Getting back to some semblance of normal after that day has been a long road, but now half a year later, I feel somewhat whole again. 

Hair that reached just below my shoulders before the Sons went inside now tickles the middle of my back in the tight braid I've twisted it into. A lot more than just my locks have grown in six months time. The ride to Stockton is routine now, every week once a week, and sometimes if I'm lucky, twice.

The bike beside us holds Opie, his face stoic as he focuses on the road ahead. I rest my cheek on Chibs' back to get a look behind us and Kozik is not far back with Jacquelyn's arms latched around his waist. 

The two of them have grown inseparable and I'd be lying if I didn't admit a part of me feels jealousy at the lost time with my best friend. As weeks passed, then months, her absence became more noticeable as she bounced back and forth between Tacoma and Charming. Jac would spend as much time here as she could, and thanks to her job she'd earned plenty of vacation time, making it much easier to show whoever questioned her that her position in Kozik's life was real. 

After blowing him off for weeks, Jacquelyn finally accepted her feelings for the blonde Son and after that, she was all his in every way. I'd never seen her get close enough to a guy to really allow them into her life, but it's rare now to see one without the other. When Jac is stuck back in Washington, it's obvious in Kozik's actions. He's more erratic and hot headed, but when she comes back he's the even keeled clown we all love.

It's hard for me to imagine the life I use to lead. The woman I once was has long since been buried and there's not a piece of her I miss. The more time you spend with the club, the more it becomes you. Choices you wouldn't normally make become easier and it's like shedding layers of yourself over time. Bit by bit you become something else. Gone is the timid girl who would let Cameron run over her, manipulate and degrade her. Standing in her place is a woman who knows her worth and what she deserves.

Bringing up the rear are Phil and Miles, former prospects who proved themselves worthy of becoming full patched members. As Chibs slows the bike, an unconscious smile pulls at my lips. I love these visits. I look forward to them the moment we leave. 

The parking area for Stockton Federal Penitentiary is packed as we roll down the aisles. The Scotsman chooses an area designated for motorcycles and backs in as the rest follow suit. He pats my thigh before unsnapping his helmet and swinging a leg over to stand. I hand him my own helmet before doing my best to situate the stray hairs that had been ripped from the braid by the wind. 

"You look great, darlin'. No need to fuss." Chibs teases as he helps me off the Harley. 

"Habit." I roll my eyes at him before giving up and pulling the hair tie out. I use my fingers to shake out the braid and the dark locks fall down my back in waves.

"The only time they see a female is when we show up." Jacquelyn calls out as she comes over, looking like the perfect picture of a Harley rider's old lady. She's clad in a pair of distressed jeans, combat boots, and a black leather jacket. "Better make it worth Hap's time." She sticks her tongue out at me as I raise a hand to flip her the bird. "Where's Tara and Gem?" 

"Gemma said she's meeting us at the entrance with Tara. She didn't want Tara driving since she's about to pop." Phil points out as he wipes a hand over his forehead as the perspiration rises from the burning California sun. 

"Alright then, lets head in." Chibs takes the lead as we make our way through the crowded parking lot. 

The visiting area reminds me of a high school cafeteria with the concrete walls and square picnic style tables. The room is bustling with energy as friends and family of the Stockton inmates mill about waiting for their loved ones to be released. 

As always I start to get anxious the closer we get to time and it's a feeling I've come to enjoy. Seeing Happy is the best part of my week. I stand against the wall with Tara and Jacquelyn while we wait for the word to choose a spot and take a seat. Jax's old lady seems uncomfortable as she shifts from foot to foot and lets out a deep breath.

"You okay?" I ask as I place a hand on her arm. She nods her head as her eyes shift around the room. 

"The baby is just really starting to run out of room in here." Her hand reaches up to caress her very swollen belly and an unconscious smile spreads on her lips. "I'm ready for him to be here already."

"You're so close. Four more weeks." I reassure her.

"Look alive, ladies." Chibs calls out as he steps off the wall with his arms crossed over his chest as one of the guards steps to the loudspeaker to announce visiting hours have begun. I part ways with Tara to choose a table in the corner, the one we always sit at. Chibs and Opie pick their usual spot as they await Clay, and Gemma takes a seat with Tara to see Jax. Since visitors are only allowed to see one inmate at a time, that means Gemma has to split the limited amount of time we get between her son and husband. 

Two doors in the corners of the room on opposite sides of each other swing open and men in vivid orange jumpsuits start filing out one by one. I see Tig, who sits down with Kozik and Jacquelyn. Next Jax comes from the second door. Tara stands and he embraces her in a tight hug before reaching for his mother. Bobby and Juice are next. Bobby's kids await him a few tables away and Juice takes a spot with the newest patched members to go over club business.

My heart skips just a little as Happy comes out after a long line of inmates. His expression is hard until his eyes scan the room before locking on me. A grin spreads in its place and I all but jump from my spot into his arms as he lifts me off the ground before settling me back on my feet.

"I missed you, girl." Happy mumbles against the top of my head soft enough so no one else hears. As we take our seats across from each other I slip my arms out of the jean jacket leaving me in a plain white shirt. "You sleepin' okay?" He asks as he eyes me with suspicion and I roll my eyes before running a hand over my forehead.

"As okay as can be expected." 

"What's that mean?" Happy rests his hands on the table and leans back in his chair, his gaze never leaving my face.

"Been a bit busy, you know." I can hear him let out an annoyed huff.

"You usin' the cash Opie's been givin' you?" I hold his stare for a second longer before shaking my head. "Why not?" 

"That money is for you when you get out." 

"It's for whatever I want it to before. And I want you paying bills with it." His tone is firm. 

"I'm fine. I promise." Happy's eyes turn cold as he sits up and leans his elbows on the table.

"You know a good old lady does what she's told, no questions right?" I match his position with my arms on the table.

"I guess I'm not a very good one then." I can see the muscles in his jaw tick when a smirk forms on my lips and I know I've struck a chord in him. 

"Take the fuckin' money, please." He tries to keep his voice low but I shake my head 'no' while biting my bottom lip. "It's stupid for you to work two jobs when the money is right there." He throws his arms up and sits back once again.

"It's been good for me, really." 

"You know this shit ain't gonna fly when I get out, right?" He motions towards me with one of his hands before crossing them over his chest. When I raise an eyebrow, challenging his word, he lets out a frustrated sigh. 

"I'm sorry, baby." I tease. "You know I like to push your buttons." He says nothing, but stares at me with that intense look he gets when things aren't going his way. 

"You'll learn who runs shit when I get out. See if you're working two jobs then." There's a finality to his tone that fills my stomach with butterflies.

"You want to boss me around, huh?" A laugh falls from my lips along with the words and I can see his fists clench on the tabletop. 

"You think you're funny." He smirks and nods his head. "We'll see who's laughing." I lick my lips while leaning closer and the smile fades from his lips. "Knock that shit off." He motions towards the fact that from this angle he has a great view of my cleavage and he uses all of his self control to look everywhere but there.

"How's it going in here?" I gesture towards the room around us, trying to take the conversation to a safer place. I try my hardest to keep things lighthearted when I come see him because I know the reality of what he goes through daily. 

The amount of fights, clinic stays, and late night phone calls we receive because the Sons seem to attract trouble have been too many to keep track of between all of them. Luckily, nothing has been serious enough to extend their sentences or injure them permanently. The worst of it was Jax getting shivved, but he had pulled through with no permanent damage aside from the surface scars 

"You know I don't want to talk about that." I roll my eyes at his stubborn attitude.

"Tell me why I come visit you again?" That gets a smile out of him as he reaches out and brushes a hand over my cheek before any of the guards can stop him. His touch lasts only seconds but I relish every bit of it.

"How's the job?" Happy asks as he resumes his spot.

"I like it. It gets me out of the house and away from TM."

"How's it feel working for the enemies?" His brows raise with curiosity.

"I work for dispatch, Hap. Not the police."

"Law is law, baby." I shake my head and take a look around the room, not sure what to say. Ever since he found out about the job, he's given me a hard time. 

Since he's not the type to force me to do anything I don't want, Happy has made it very clear how he feels in hopes that I'll change my mind. Unless it's outside the realm of safety, he doesn't mind so much though he likes to talk a big game. 

"How's the house coming along?" 

"Bathrooms are done, still working on the kitchen and living room though." I think over the laundry list of things I want to do to house Happy had secured for me before he went inside. 

"Deckin' it out in girly shit?" Happy teases.

"Who, me?" I feign innocence and that earns a chuckle. "I think you'll like it. It's very feng shui." 

"What the hell does that mean?" 

"Zen, calm, homey." I try to describe in words he will understand, remembering that he's a 'bad ass biker' and not an interior decorator. "All white walls and green plants." Happy snorts and runs a hand over his head that was once bald, but now a thin covering of hair has appeared since incarceration. 

"Long as there's a bed and a full fridge-" He shrugs his shoulders. "And you preferably naked, in it I don't care what it looks like." 

"You're such a guy." He's quiet for a moment as he watches me and I start to feel self conscious under his heavy gaze. "What?" 

"I don't deserve you, you know." 

"Stop." 

"I'm serious. I was a fuck up before. I don't know what you ever saw in me." Happy reaches out and brushes his fingertips along the top of my hand resting on the table. His eyes follow his movements and I can see the pain settled in his hazel orbs. "Things are going to be different when I get out." He refuses to look at me and I flip my hand over to latch onto his fingers. I squeeze them in my grasp, my eyes flickering over to make sure the guards aren't looking in this direction. They're not fond of physical contact during the visits. Some will let it slide as long as it's not too noticeable, but others are a lot more strict. You never know who you're dealing with visit to visit. 

"Don't think about all that." I whisper out as he looks up to meet my eyes. Happy's mood swings are hard to keep up with, and just when I think I've gotten through visitiation without making him think too hard about the deep stuff, he flips a switch on me. 

"I've just been thinkin' a lot." He lets out a heavy sigh. "About us, about what I want when I'm back on the outside." 

"And?" I release his hand before I push my luck too far, and Happy clasps his own together on the tabletop, his thumbs running circles around each other.

"I want somethin' real, you know?" 

"What about this isn't real?" I motion towards the two of us. "I'm not sure how much more real it can get than me moving to be with you." 

"I don't want to be the guy you have to worry about." His eyes flicker around the room, everywhere but on me and I can tell he feels awkward in his movements. "I want to be the guy you can count on. I can't be that in here." 

"Relationships go both ways. I've got it under control while you're in here. Why do you think I'm working two jobs?" 

"But you don't need to do that." He snaps. "What you need to do is take the money from the club." 

"That's not going to happen. I got a safety deposit box at the bank. Everything Ope gives me goes in there and in eight months we'll decide what to do with it, together." When he doesn't respond I know he's done with the conversation. 

The rest of the visit goes without incident, and just like always when the guards announce visitation is over, my heart sinks into my stomach. Happy stands from the table and envelopes me in a vice-like embrace and every part of me never wants him to let go. 

"I'm workin' on getting another phone." He whispers against my cheek before he lets me go. That eases the sadness when I think about how it was in the beginning. He'd gotten his hands on a burner that he could use to call me at night when he was locked away in his cell. Due to his wrap sheet, Happy had been assigned to a cell of his own. Past stints in jail and prison were full of violence for him, and so he was placed by himself at the request of Lowen. 

"I hope so." I lean up on my tip toes to place a peck on his lips before an officer steps over to replace a set of cuffs on his wrists. Watching him leave never gets any easier, and nothing is any different this time as I watch him leave the room with that same familiar sadness in my chest.


	3. Colorful Background

**VICTORIA  
TEN MONTHS AFTER ARREST**

The break room at the station is quiet except for the sound of the coffee machine whirring to life as I wait for the delicious caffeine to brew. It's after eleven at night now, and the only people left are a few in this wing of the building are dispatchers like myself to answer emergency calls. The sound of feet coming down the hall catches my attention and in walks Molly, a mid thirties woman who works the same shift as me a few cubicles down. 

"You got a pot brewin'? Thank God." She mumbles out as she stops to throw her curly red hair into a pony tail. "Long night." 

"They're all long." I say with a smile as I look at the clock and see it's only a few minutes past the hour. "Took me forever to get use to this shift." The coffee machine dings and Molly takes it upon herself to reach for the carafe to refill her floral print coffee mug. 

"It grows on ya. I like being home with my kid in the afternoon, so it all works out." She hands me the pot and I fill up my own. 

"I don't have any kids to go home to." I shrug my shoulders. "Just an empty house." The look on her face is sympathetic but I brush it off with a smile. "But I like it that way." We fall back into silence as I pop a Tupperware dish with leftover spaghetti into the microwave and wait for the timer to tick down. Molly grabs a salad and heads for the door.

"Better get back to it." She says her goodbyes before getting back to her station. It's quiet again for only a few moments and I relish what I can get, but I'm interrupted once again, this time by a man's voice.

"Miss Estrada, good to see you." 

"Sheriff Roosevelt." I greet before taking a bite of the noodles. I reach for my coffee to head for the door, but he stops me.

"How's the job treating you? Been a while now, you settled in okay?" 

"Of course." I try to keep my response short, not wanting to divulge too much. He carries a file folder under his arm, and he nods his head without looking me directly in the eye. “Everyone was very helpful in the beginning and now I think I’ve got most of it down just fine.” 

"Good, good to hear." 

"I should head back." I motion towards the door with the hand holding the mug but he takes a breath which tells me he's not done yet. 

"What brings you to Charming, if you don't mind me asking?" Something about the look on his face makes me uneasy.

"Fresh start. Went through a bad breakup back in Tacoma." I hold his gaze, wondering what this all means. Roosevelt has never shown much interest in me before. 

"Any family here?" My eyebrows scrunch as I take in his question. 

"None." 

"So why here?" 

"I'm sorry, I don't want to sound rude, but may I ask what this is about?" There's another long pause but this time he stares me dead in the face and I know exactly what's coming. Sheriff Roosevelt takes the file from under his arm and opens it up before tossing it onto the break room table.

"David 'Happy' Lowman. Incarcerated for two years in late 2000 for assault and battery. Another stint in Stockton late 2002 for breaking and entering. Charged with attempted murder in the summer of 2005, but those charges were dropped. Reason unknown. Maybe he got lucky and the evidence was thrown out. I couldn't really find out much about that one, but the other arrests lead me to believe he has a hard time learning from his mistakes.” He pauses to take a breath as the words had flowed out faster than I could grasp them all. “There's a whole string of charges after those, you can see for yourself. Now, he sits in Stockton as we speak," a sarcastic laugh leaves his lips. "for violating parole on a weapons charge." 

My heart sinks into my stomach as I look down at the folder and a mug shot stares right back up at me. My hands start to feel shaky and I place the coffee mug and plastic dish onto the table before reaching for the folder and pulling it over to me. The list of charges goes on and on, petty theft, more breaking and entering, robbery, assault. There's even one for possession, which I was told the Sons were not involved with drugs, but here it is glaring at me in black and white. More than once.

"What is this?" I ask after a moment of silence to get myself under control. 

"I take it upon myself to get to know the people working close to me. I find it interesting you didn't think to mention your connection to the Sons of Anarchy." The sheriff crosses his arms over his chest as he stares down at me 

"What does my personal life have to do with my job?" 

"If you had a paper trail connection to the club, you would not have been given this job, Miss Estrada." 

"I'm just as capable as the next person." I glare back at him and I can tell he's not intimidated, not even a little bit. “Regardless of my personal relationships.”

"You're in a relationship with a repeat offender, a _violent_ repeat offender I might add. How much do you know about these people? You've only been in town for what, less than a year?" 

"I know enough." I say through pursed lips. 

"Oh?" He raises an eyebrow with interested, but I keep my mouth shut. I keep my hands pressed to my thighs so as not to show him any weakness, but he eyes me up and down like he knows I could crack at any minute. "I'll let you get back to your lunch, Miss Estrada." Roosevelt picks up the folder and tucks it back in it's original place under his arm. "I look forward to getting to know you better." He nods his head at me with a smirk and exits the room, leaving me feeling shaken. 

After a few minutes of deep breaths and pacing, I sit down in the chair, no longer feeling hungry so I push the food across the table away from me. I dig my phone out of my pocket and scroll until I find Jacquelyn's name. 

"What's up, buttercup?" The perky blonde greets.

"They found out." My eyes burn with tears but I refuse to let the man get a true reaction out of me. 

"Who found out what?" There's concern in her voice as she realizes I'm not calling just to chat. 

"Sheriff Roosevelt, he found out about Happy. He knows I'm connected to the club."

"Shit." I hear her let out a long exhale. "What now?" 

"It felt like he was threatening me." I whisper out just in case anyone might be listening in from the hallway. 

"What did he say?" 

" _I look forward to getting to know you better._ " I repeat the Sheriff's words. "He said I never would have been accepted for the job if they knew my connection." 

"Well he can't fire you now."

"But do I really want to work for someone who clearly has an issue with me?" 

"It's none of his business what you do with your personal time, Vic." I know she's right, but now I feel even more out of place here than I did before. "I'll be down tomorrow night after work and we'll talk more about it then." 

"Okay, I've got to get back, I just needed to tell someone." She gives me a few more reassuring words before we hang up the phone and I stand from the table, taking my leftovers and tossing them in the trash. 

Part of me wants to bolt from the station, but the other part wants to keep my pride and show the Sheriff that nothing he said shook me. I'd be lying if I said the sight of all of Happy's charges didn't make me feel sick, but I have to remind myself that that's the exact reaction he wanted to gain when he pulled that file. So I force a brave face, and make my way down the hallway like nothing happened. 

•••

_"How's my girl?"_ Happy's rough voice pulls me further out of a very restless rest, I tuck the phone between the pillow and my ear, not having the energy at five in the morning to hold it myself.

"Tired, long night." I whisper out, my voice laced with sleep. 

_"You want me to let you go?_ " A sigh leaves my lips as my eyes flutter closed.

"No, not really." I pull my knees up and wrap one leg over a pillow before pulling the sheets up around my neck. "New Sheriff knows who I am, now." I mumble. 

_"How?"_

"Don't know. He brought me your very long, very impressive wrap sheet on my break last night." Happy pauses. 

_"He showed you that?"_ There's a tinge of embarrassment in his tone. 

"It's long, Hap. Like, I didn't even read it all, long." 

_"I know exactly what it says."_ He snaps. _"You knew I had a colorful background."_

"You were arrested for attempted murder." I slowly sit up in bed and pick the phone up off the pillow, suddenly not feeling so tired. His silence causes me to squeeze my eyes shut, not knowing what exactly to say to that. 

_"You knew who I was before all this."_

"Seeing it all laid out in front of me, it was shocking. What else don't I know?" 

_"We're not having this conversation while I'm locked up."_

"What's that suppose to mean?" I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion when I feel his anger growing. 

_"I'm not giving you a play by play of my past over the phone. I want to look you in the face."_ He goes quiet for a second before continuing. _"Where you can't just hang up the phone and disappear without a trace because you see now what kind of monster I really am.”_ My stomach turns as I brush my hair out of my face and behind my ear. _"Victoria?_ " He questions when I don't respond. 

"I'm still here." 

_"Don't even think about it, baby girl. Listen, I've got to get off here."_

"Alright, I'll see you in a few days." 

_"We're almost there, Victoria. Four more months."_ He mumbles out, sounding a little defeated. 

"I know. Goodnight, Hap." I hang up the phone without waiting for him to respond and fall back into the pillows while staring up at the ceiling. The sun is barely starting to appear over the horizon, and I know I have to be at TM in a few hours to run the office, but sleep isn't going to happen. Not now. The phone in my hand buzzes to alert me of an incoming text and I squint against the bright screen.

 _'This doesn't change anything.'_ The message is from Private, which means Happy on the burner. I shake all thoughts from my head and close my eyes, hoping I can drift off even if it's only for a minute.


	4. Cameron

**VICTORIA  
TEN MONTHS AFTER ARREST**

_Writing to you feels weird, not like me, but the visits are never long enough. The nights are long, and sometimes if I'm not careful, my mind wanders to a dangerous place. I'm alone in this cell. No one to talk to most of the time and when I'm out there, I'm always watching my back. Stay out of trouble, stay alive, stay clear. A vicious cycle. It can drive a man mad, if we're not already. Who knows._

_At night I stare at the ceiling and think of you. About how you gave me a chance, the kind of girl who never should have. Fuck, if the guys could see me writing this I'd never live it down, but with you everything is different. With you I can let my guard down. Seems like some twisted fate I met you after all this shit went down. Maybe things would've been different if I'd met you before. Maybe I wouldn’t even be in here._

_You want to know about my past, Victoria? You want to know what life was like before I met you? You deserve that, but maybe I'm a selfish bastard who can't stand the idea of you looking at me with fear on your face. I know that look well, I've seen it all my life. Some might say I'm fuckin' crazy, that might be true. You've shown me kindness, strength, a peace I've never known._

_My father beat me and my mama when I was a kid. I was a scrawny, scrappy teen, but I was no competition for that piece of shit. He got cheap thrills from torture. He liked to put cigarettes out on my hands when I wasn't on guard. I'd be watching tv and he'd come in the house with a sick fuckin' smile. He'd call me 'little David' and to this day it's blackout rage when I hear someone say my name._

_I saw a lot of shit no kid should have to see and it twisted up my brain. Made it hard to see right from wrong for a long, long time. Rough crowds became my safety net. I found the Sons and shit just hooked up like it was meant to be if you believe in that fairy tale fate bullshit._

_You deserve to know the truth and you will. I'll tell you everything when I'm out of this shit hole. For now, just know I didn't want to end up this way. Ive spent years trying to cut out the poison in my genes my father passed down._

_You make me see past all this._

The letter is signed with two smiley faces, just like the ones on his torso. A tear falls down my cheek as I think of Happy, too young to defend himself against a villain who was put here to protect him. To feel that kind of betrayal by a family member would be excruciating and I can't imagine what he went through. The little bit he touched on in the short letter written in chicken scratch on a torn sheet from a book fills my head with unexplained theories. My mind runs wild with the unspoken abuse that he couldn't get into with his words being screened. 

Everything seems to make so much more sense as to why he is the way he is. He was never taught the basic human rights and needs. Instead, he watched his mother be abused and felt that same abuse himself. By his own father of all people. 

I fold the letter and tuck it safely into the nightstand drawer. It's the first one he's ever written in the last ten months and the first time he's opened up about anything in his past. It may be badly worded and a steady stream of consciouses, but to me it means the world. My thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door and I look up from my place on the bed to see Kozik.

"You alright?" He asks with concern when he sees the solemn look on my face. I wipe away any remaining moisture and stand. 

"Fine, just got a letter from Hap." Kozik scrunches his eyebrows. 

"I didn't know he even knew how to read." That pulls a smile from me. 

"Stop." I tease as Kozik chuckles when I give him a look. 

"For real though. Doesn't sound like our boy. What did you do to him?" I walk over and shove his shoulder on my way by out into the hallway. 

"Where's Jac?" I open the fridge to pull out a bottle of water before tossing him one. 

"Shower. There's a party at the clubhouse tonight. Chibs is on his way to get you."

"Who says I want to go?" I stick my tongue out at the blonde and take a pull of the ice cold liquid. 

"Mandatory. It's a little engagement celebration for the happy couple." Kozik refers to Lyla and Ope. 

"You mean it's an excuse to throw a rager and drink yourselves sick?"

"Exactly like that." Kozik laughs as the second bedroom door opens and Jacquelyn steps out with a towel around her body as well as on her head. 

"Get in the shower, what's the hold up?" She motions towards the pajama I'm wearing. 

"It's my only night off so I had planned to spend it in bed." 

"Oh no. I'm going to raid your closet and you will be out of that shower ready to get hot as can be in twenty minutes." She points back down the hall towards my bedroom. “We’re having fun tonight. I don’t care if the Scotty has to carry you out over his shoulder.” 

"Chibs will be here in ten, better hurry it up." Kozik warns as he plops down onto the sofa and turns on the television. "He's an impatient man, our Scot." That earns an eye roll from me as I make my way down the hall and back into my room where Jacquelyn is ripping through my wardrobe like a crazy person. 

•••

The party is in full swing by the time everything goes to hell. I'd been talking to Jacquelyn, sitting at the bar having a good time when the sadness sweeps in, an invisible force I've come to know well over the last ten months. It creeps in out of no where usually when I'm least expecting it. I miss him. I miss the few weeks of happiness we had before I found out what it was really like to care about a Son. 

If I thought I cared about Happy before he went inside, the feelings only intensified after. You don't just get involved with the man, you get in bed with the club and all things that go with it. These people I've come to know are family. They are more family to me than my own blood now. The buzz from the frozen margarita's a few crow eaters had made have me feeling woozy as I stand from the barstool. 

"Where you going?" Jac asks as she reaches out to touch my arm. 

"Outside. I need some air." She watches me go with concern written on her face before turning to Kozik who is sitting on her other side. I catch Gemma's eye on my way out the door and she raises a hand to shush the crow eater talking her ear off before stepping through the crowd. The fresh air hits me like a brick wall and I gulp in a deep breath while trying to silence the thoughts running through my mind. 

"You okay, darlin'?" I hear Gemma's voice and I snap around to see her coming towards me with a bottle of water in her hand. 

"I'm okay." I mumble out, my words slurred from the alcohol. "I miss him." I whisper as I feel the drunken tears burning at the backs of my eyes. “God, I miss him.” I wrap my arms around myself while leaning against the brick of the clubhouse. Gemma holds the water out to me and I take it without hesitation. The cool liquid numbs my throat on the way down. 

"There you go." Gemma slips an arm around my shoulders and pulls me into her side. "You're doin' great, sweetheart. You're almost there. Just a few more months, now." Her warm hand brushes a few stray hairs from my face as she watches me. "You know, I didn't think you were cut out for this life at first." When I look up she's smiling, a proud kind of look on her face. "I thought, 'look at this high maintenance hunny thinkin' she can work her way into the club.' I didn't trust ya, and I definitely didn't trust ya with Hap's heart, but look at you now." I try to dry the tears with the back of my hand. 

"It's hard." Gemma holds me at arms length and cups my face in her hands. 

"First time JT went inside, I didn't think I'd make it. The strength we have to stay faithful and keep a household running, that's what makes an old lady." She kisses my forehead before releasing me. I take in another deep breath and nod my head as I think of her words. She’s always been there to remind me it’s okay to have a moment of weakness, but in her own words, _do your cryin’ in private darlin’, then get it together and move on._ "We all get sad sometimes. You'd be a cold hearted bitch if you didn't." We are pulled from our conversation by a car pulling into the lot and I shield my eyes at the bright headlights. 

"Jesus." Gem raises her hand so she can see and my stomach turns when I see the all too familiar silver Audi. The car comes to a screeching halt and the door swings open, revealing a very drunk and stumbling Cameron. 

"There you are." The brunette man slurs as he almost trips over his own feet. 

"Cameron." I breathe out, feeling suddenly very sober. 

"You've got to be shittin' me." Gemma's voice is laced with irritation as she takes a step towards the very drunk man. 

"I've been looking everywhere for you." Cameron takes a few more steps towards us but Gemma stops him. 

"You aren't welcome here." The matriarch snaps out.

"Bullshit. My girl is here."

"Not your girl anymore, if I remember." I hear the clubhouse door swing open and out walks Chibs and Opie. 

"Oh look, the biker boys coming to the rescue." A sarcastic laugh leaves Cameron's chest as the two Sons eye him with caution. 

"Best you head out." Opie calls out while crossing his arms over his chest. 

"Victoria, get in the car." 

"I'm not going anywhere with you. This is over, Cam. It's been over for a long time." I shout across the lot with my arms crossed over my chest. 

"Ay, you heard the girl." Chibs takes a few steps towards my ex and Cameron squares his shoulders like he's preparing for a fight. 

"Your piece of shit friend took the only thing that meant something to me." Cameron stumbles while reaching into the drivers seat to pull out a bottle of Jack. He takes a swig before turning back to us. "What am I now, huh?" He directs his question at me. "What do I gotta do, Victoria? Join a fuckin' bike club, get some tattoos, _what!?"_ Cameron shouts the last word at me as he stumbles closer but Chibs places a flat hand on his chest. 

"That's enough, I'll call ya a cab." Cameron shies away and tries to carry on forward but Chibs grip this time is more forceful as he shoves Cameron backwards. "I won' tell ya again." The Scotsman holds up a finger and points it as a warning. Opie steps forward and I can see Cameron sizing up his options. "Gemma, take the girl inside, ay?" Gemma steps over and takes my arm. 

"Let's go, sweetheart. Let the boys handle this." I give Cameron one last look before following her lead. This isn't the first time Cam has made an appearance at the clubhouse, but it's the first time he's ever been so flat out disrespectful in front of the Sons. Any feelings I once felt for him evaporated the day Happy went inside. Cameron had shown his true colors and erased any doubts that this was where I needed to be. If he wants to fight the two members and make a fool of himself, so be it.


	5. Out

**VICTORIA  
FOURTEEN MONTHS AFTER ARREST**

My hands clench and unclench with nervous anticipation as I watch Phil load up the bikes on a flatbed trailer. I've stared at those lonely bikes day in and day out for over a year now. They've never left their spots, and out of respect for their brothers inside, the prospects made sure to keep them polished to perfection and over the last few days they've been tuned with a fine toothed comb. 

Chibs and Opie have arranged for the bikes to be waiting at the Stockton gates when the guys get released. The Sons couldn't come home in a car, no that would never do for our Sons. They'd want to get right back into it and I'm sure after fourteen months off the back of a bike, they're itching to get a taste of the freedom they love so much. 

Chibs steps from the clubhouse, a cheeky grin on his face and a little more pep in his step than usual. Everyone's moods seem to be light and it's all for one reason. We’ve all waited long enough for them to be released and finally the day is here. 

"Mornin' sweetheart." Chibs kisses my cheek on his way by. "Looks like I'll get to live another day." I roll my eyes and shove his shoulder. "Managed to keep you out of trouble, didn' I?"

"You did an outstanding job, Chibby." I love the way his eyes light up when he smiles. It’s rare the Scotsman relaxes or lets his guard down.

"Ay, I bet you're as happy as can be, am I righ'?" 

"I'm nervous." My shoulders shrug involuntarily as I grip my fingers together in front of me. "It's been so long since he's been on the outside I almost forget what it feels like." 

"All's well now, just a few more hours." He slips his hands into his riding gloves before turning away to help load the bikes. The clubhouse is bustling with energy this morning and it's obvious everyone is excited for the rest of Samcro to be home. 

As I make my way back inside I see Tara sitting on one of the couches with Thomas sitting in front of her in his stroller. She holds a bottle of formula in one hand and in the other she holds her cell phone. The smell of barbecue wafts through the entire clubhouse as the crow eaters 

"Need some help?" I ask as I slide onto the seat beside her. 

"The office is calling. Could you watch him a second?" 

"Of course." I switch her spots and hold the bottle for Thomas who is staring up at me with such intensity you'd think he knows all my secrets. Tara stands and heads for the exit leaving the two of us alone. 

"I bet your daddy is excited to see you." I tell the baby as he drinks from the bottle. My voice gets him to smile and he pulls away to free his mouth. I reach a hand out and brush my fingers against his soft cheek and he leans into my touch with a coo. 

"Hey!" I hear a sweet voice call out and I look up to see Abel running full speed at me with a lopsided grin. He is the spitting image of his father now, all blonde hair and lady killer eyes. I set the bottle down and hold my arms out for him to run into and he leaps into my lap without slowing down. 

"My favorite monster." I tease while tickling his stomach. His chest erupts in giggles as he tries to pull away but I hold on tight. 

"He's hard to keep up with." I look up to see Gemma with a hand on her hip as she comes this way. 

"More and more energy every day." I release the toddler and he leans over the stroller to get a look at his baby brother. 

"Hi, Tommy." Abel greets and that earns another smile from the infant. 

"Today's a big day." Gemma falls Abel as she leans down to be at his height. 

"Daddy comes home?" Abel's face lights up. 

"And uncle Tig and grandpa Clay. All your favorite people will be right back with us." She kisses his forehead before her eyes flicker to me. "Uncle Hap, too." The mention of his name fills my stomach with butterflies. 

"You excited, sweetheart?" 

"Very." Gemma stands back up as Abel jabbers on to his brother about their dad coming home and she takes my hands to pull me up from my seat. 

"He's going to be so proud of you." She kisses my forehead. 

"I didn't do much."

"You took that sad excuse for a house and turned it into a home. A place for him to come home to where he can let all the other shit go." Gemma brushes a few hairs behind my ear. "You worked day and night to build a nest egg for the two of you. You were faithful, right?" There's a teasing smile on her lips. 

"Of course I was."

"Even with that Cameron knockin' on your door." My heart sinks at the thought of my ex. I've kept Happy somewhat in the dark about everything that's happened with him while he's been inside. I know Chibs has kept him filled in on the basics, but now he'll have to see it all once he's on the outside.

•••

The sound of roaring Harley's pulls my attention from Jacquelyn's face as we mill about the lot waiting for anything to happen. It's felt like an eternity since we got the heads up that the boys were leaving Stockton, and ever since I've been a roaring bundle of nerves. I watch as a grin pulls at Tara's lips as she holds Thomas while Gemma whispers words in her ear.

"Show time." Jac teases as she reaches out and squeezes my hand. I can't think of anything to say, my mind a whirlwind as the rumbling engines draw closer. The crowd turns their attention to Teller-Morrow's entrance as the first bikes make their appearance and the glowing look on Tara's face is impossible to miss as she lands eyes on Jax. 

One by one the Sons come to a stop in the center of the lot and are swarmed by friends and family. There's a group of crow eaters not far from me and the scantily dressed girls take turns greeting the guys. My heart skips in my chest as I catch Happy's stare as he unbuckles his helmet. I don’t miss the way his fingers seem to work at lightening speed as if he can’t get it off fast enough. His eyes never leave me until a woman with blonde hair takes him by the upper arm just as he swings his leg over the Harley. I take a step forward but stop when I watch her wrap her arms around his neck and press a kiss to his cheek. Happy freezes in her embrace and shrugs her off a second later, his head whipping around to face me again. 

All the chaos leaves me when I lock eyes on his honey orbs and his pace is swift as he cuts around all of the bikes to reach me, the blonde crow eater long forgotten. I'm in his arms before I can even process it and he lifts me off my feet. The smell of him is overwhelming. The leather, cigarette smoke, and sweat engulf my senses and I can feel my eyes burning as he squeezes me. As he drops me back down to my own two feet his hands reach up to take me by the jaw where he presses his lips against mine. 

My arms wind around his waist underneath his kutte and I hold him to me for as long as he'll allow. When he pulls back there's pure happiness and excitement radiating off of him as he stares down at me. It's funny the things you forget when you haven't been face to face other than visits, in over a year. I forgot the way the leather of his kutte feels under my hands, the way it feels like him. I forgot just how much he effects my heart rate and the way I feel like I'm home when I'm in his arms without a time limit. 

"Fuck, it feels good to hold on to you." Happy mumbles out as he hugs me once more, this time leaning into me, his head pressed to the top of mine. 

"Tell me about it.” I squeeze my arms around his waist before pulling away and he reaches up to cup my face in his hands. Any concerns I had about things not being the same once he was back on the outside are long gone. 

"The whole way here I kept thinkin' there's no way you'd be waiting for me. You're too good and this was all my imagination." The left side of my chest clenches as I lean up enough to kiss him. His hands lace through my hair at the base of my neck to hold me there for a moment longer. 

"Im not going anywhere.” I whisper out once he's pulled back. I look over his shoulder to see everyone reuniting with smiles and laughter. My chest swells at the sight as Happy slips an arm around my waist. I catch the gaze of the same blonde crow eater that'd tried to get her claws in the man beside me. She glares, her blue eyes shining with annoyance as she crosses her arms over her chest. "Who is she?" I lean up to Happy's ear so no one else can hear me. 

"Who?" He seems genuinely confused until he sees where my eyes are trained. "No one." Happy mumbles while pressing a kiss to the top of my head. 

"An ex?" He lets out a snort of laughter and shakes his head. 

"Not even close. Don't worry your pretty mind." I roll my eyes as Clay pulls away from Gemma and heads towards the clubhouse. 

"Chapel. We've got business to discuss." The president calls out and I frown. 

"I've only just got you back and now you have to go." 

"Got a lot of shit to talk about." He claims my lips, this time in a rough kiss that causes butterflies to attack my stomach. "Just like we do, later." He gives me one last look before pulling away and heading after the rest of the Sons. I watch him go and think over everything I want to say to him when I get the chance. I'm pulled from my thoughts by someone bumping into my shoulder and I turn to see the blonde. An irritated fire starts to build in my chest at the sight of her. The way she had latched onto him the second he got here in the forefront of my mind. 

"Excuse me." There's sarcasm in her voice as she eyes me up and down before heading into the clubhouse after the guys. 

"What was that?" Jacquelyn asks as she comes over to me with a raised eyebrow. 

"Good question. I'm not entirely sure." I watch the blonde sway her hips as she walks. "Ever seen her before?" Jac shakes her head and lets out a whistle. 

"Seems like she's got her eye on one prize in particular." Im silent for a moment as I replay the way she'd greeted Happy like an old friend. 

"I think you're right."


	6. Home

**VICTORIA**

As I stare at my reflection in the full sized mirror in the hallway, Jacquelyn perches herself on the kitchen counter top, words of reassurance from her filling the room as my mind races. I'd never done the lingerie thing with Cameron, he never seemed all that in to it. Plus, I wasn't the most confident human on the planet back then. I feel exposed in the sheer black lace teddy, and the satin robe draped over my shoulders does little to help. It all feels like too much. The last thing I want is for Happy to think this is all some joke. 

"You look like dessert, baby girl." Jacquelyn teases as she takes a handful of Cheetos from the bag beside her. She shovels them into her mouth and nods her head. 

"This is too much. Happy is going to think I'm a fool." I let out a long sigh while running my fingers through the soft curls Jacquelyn had helped me with. My best friend gives a dramatic scoff before hopping off her seat and coming over. She stands behind me, her hands resting on my shoulders with her head peeking over to look at me through the mirror. 

"You are a beautiful woman, a force of nature. You are his old lady and he's going to have a stroke when he walks in the door." The blonde gives my shoulders a squeeze as her cell starts ringing and she digs it out before placing it to her ear. 

"Yeah, baby?" I can't help but roll my eyes. Kozik. I can't handle their lovey dovey relationship, but I'm glad she's found the one who makes her shine. "She's ready. Twenty minutes? See you soon." Jacquelyn snaps the phone closed and lets out an excited squeal. "Your lover will be here in twenty. It's time for me to split." She walks into the kitchen to grab her purse and throws it over her shoulder while giving me one last look. "Good luck, sugar pie. I'll see you at the wedding."

"I'll call you before we leave." She waves her hand at me before blowing a kiss and heading out the front door. I turn back to the mirror and look myself over. I shake my hands out at my sides to release the nervous tingles and let out a breath. No going back now.

•••

The sound of one lone Harley pulls my attention as I stand in the bathroom with a bottle of perfume in hand. I've done nothing but overanalyze my appearance for an embarrassing amount of time, but now he's here and it's too late to change my mind. I make my way out of the bedroom into the hallway with a clear shot of the front door where he can see me the moment he walks in. I lean against the wall and my heart skips when the door knob turns. 

Happy comes in, his eyes on his hands as he pulls the riding gloves off and stows them in his kutte pocket. When he looks up, he stops all movements and freezes. The only movement is his gaze trailing from mine down my body and back up. I push myself off the wall once the front door swings shut and make my way over, my steps slow and precise. All of the stress disappears when I see nothing but approval written all over his face. 

Happy doesn't pursue me, instead he watches it all play out. When I'm a few feet away I drop the robe from my shoulders to give him a full view. Nothing is concealed in the thin lingerie and his eyes drop to my chest. A kind of darkness seeps in to his expression and he slips his arms from the kutte before draping it over the back of the couch beside us. I reach out for him and slip my hand behind his neck to pull him down to meet my lips. The kiss is slow, deep, and full of need as his arms wind around my waist to press me flush against his front. 

The rough feel of his calloused hands is so familiar and that same boldness I use to feel when he'd touch me this way creeps into my chest. I pull away from the kiss and push him backwards towards the couch. Happy watches me with curiosity as I take the hem of his shirt in my hands and pull it over his head. My hands connect with his chest and I push him hard enough so he falls back onto the cushions. 

As he sits at eye level with my bellybutton, his hands reach up to dance up the naked skin of my thighs. They move over the thin material covering my abdomen and back down where he grips me with force just under my ass to pull me onto his lap. My legs rest on either side of him as he claims my lips once more, the exchange becoming more rushed and forceful as the seconds tick by. I can feel him hard as a rock through his jeans and that fills my lower body with need. 

"Baby girl." Happy mumbles out as my lips move down his neck to his naked chest. My hands reach for the button of his jeans as I slide off his lap onto the floor between his legs. I stare up at him, my eyes hooded with want as he watches me. 

That primal look in his eyes has my hands shaking as I unfasten the reaper belt. Once I get them undone I slip my hand into the fabric and palm him through his boxers as he lets out a sharp breath of air. Happy's hand reaches down to grab me by the chin as he sits up and leans down to kiss me, halting my advance. 

"I've had nothing but my hand for over a year." He breathes out against my lips while reaching for the straps of the lingerie to pull it down, exposing my naked body. "You start that shit and I'll cum in ten seconds flat." 

A blush creeps up my neck as he pushes the lingerie further down and off my body entirely. I stand from the floor, on full display for him and he watches me close as he pushes his jeans down his legs and off to lay beside my discarded lace. I slip onto his lap, his erection at my entrance and he locks eyes with me as he guides himself inside. My mouth falls open as I lower myself fully. Happy's head falls back as a slew of curse words fall from his lips. My movements are slow as I adjust to him. Fourteen months without him was torture, but this is everything. 

Happy reaches up to grab me by the back of the neck as I ride him and he leans forward to press his forehead to mine. A soft moan leaves my lips and my eyes close as I move my hips faster. I rest my hands on his shoulders, the look on his face is full of pure desire and satisfaction and that alone encourages me on. His breaths leave his chest in shaky pants as he nears his peak and I can feel myself getting closer as he thrusts his hips up to meet my own. Happy's movements are forceful, quick and my head drops to his shoulders as he takes over control. His arms wind around my body, holding my arms down at my sides as he moves me back and forth over him. 

The muscles in my legs start to twitch as Happy hits my spot and I can barely catch my breath. The sounds of encouragement coming from me causes Happy to grin and he pushes me over the edge when he reaches down to rub tight circles over my clit. Stars explode in front of my eyes and I'm barely back on solid ground before he's pulling me off his lap by the roots of my hair. He takes his cock in his hand as he watches me, my eyes still half closed from the intense orgasm but I swat his hand away before sliding back onto the floor to take him into my mouth. A growl leaves his throat as he runs his hands through my hair and watches me take his entire length to the back of my throat. That's all it takes and he's cumming hard, his eyes snapping closed as he moans.

•••

As we lay on the living room floor, my head on Happy's chest and his head resting on a pillow he'd pulled off the couch, all feels right. My eyes start to flutter closed but I'm pulled out of it by his fingers moving through my hair draped over his arm. I sit up enough to look at him, and his hand cups my cheek as he gazes up with adoration. His fingers glide down to brush over the ring that's still around my neck and has been every day since he gave it to me. 

"I missed you." I whisper as I lean down to press a soft kiss to his lips. Happy holds me there for a second longer before releasing me. I stand from the floor and reach for the robe and tie it up around me. I don't expect a response. I don't expect him to be like Kozik who's constantly reminding Jacquelyn how much she means to him. I accepted long ago that Happy isn’t that type of guy. 

"That wasn't necessary." He motions towards my now concealed body. A smile pulls at my lips before I turn to grab the jug of orange juice from the refrigerator. 

"You want some?" Happy stands from the floor and drags his jeans up his legs, leaving his upper half bare as he looks around the living room. 

"Sure." 

"What time should we head to the reservation?" I pour the glasses and make my way back over and hand him his own. He takes a long pull before answering. 

"About an hour probably. I like what you did with the place." Happy motions towards the cleanly decorated room around us. My eyebrows scrunch as I watch him stick his hands in his pockets after setting his drink down and everything about his body language tells me he feels uncomfortable. 

"What's wrong?"

"It's going to take me a few days to feel normal on the outside." Happy mumbles as he turns his back to me and lets out a sigh. "Gotta remember I can let survival mode go." I watch his shoulders rise and fall so I step over to him and slip my arms around his waist, pressing my front to his back. Happy stiffens a bit under my touch but relaxes. "Don't have to constantly look over my shoulder."

"How can I help?" He takes me by the wrist and drags me around so I'm in front of him. I'm pulled into a tight embrace with his head on top of mine. 

"The lingerie was a good start." I can feel his chest vibrate in a chuckle and I give him a playful swat on the back. 

"I knew it was a bad idea." Happy pulls back to look me in the face, a grin on his lips. 

"It was a very good one." His thumb reaches up to brush over my bottom lip. "I could get use to coming home to that." Happy's lips find mine before releasing me. "You should probably start getting ready." I glance at the clock on the wall and sigh. Our bubble will burst the minute we leave here and submerge ourselves in the chaos. 

"Do we have to go?" I whine knowing full well there's no way we could miss it. 

"I think you know Lyla would have both of our asses if we skipped it." Happy heads for the bedroom where I'd moved all of his stuff from the clubhouse months ago. I figured it would be easier for him to adjust if his things were already here. We never discussed officially living together, but it had been hinted at over the course of his stay at Stockton. I follow behind him as he digs through the drawers looking for clothes. 

"Second drawer down on the left, shirts." I call out from the doorway. "Drawer directly underneath is jeans." He follows my directions and pulls out a black shirt and some denim to go with it. "Top left is socks, boxers, miscellaneous." The wedding isn't formal, but I'd spent the last two weeks picking out the perfect dress. It's the first big event Happy and I will attend together not to mention his first day of freedom. I want to look perfect. 

"What would I do without you?" Happy teases as he heads for the bathroom. 

"I thought I was showering first?" I cross my arms over my chest and watch him as he unfastens his jeans in a slow, almost seductive way, his gaze locked on me. 

"Figured it'd be faster if we just did it together." Happy flashes me a wink before disappearing into the bathroom and moments later I hear the water turn on.


	7. Mrs. Winston

**VICTORIA**

By the time we arrive at the reservation the lot is filled with motorcycles up and down both sides of the lane leading to the ceremony. I'd decided to ride with Gemma and Tara, as both Tara and I are in dresses making riding on the back of a bike difficult. Gemma finds a place to park and we are greeted by the sound of people calling our names as we step from the car onto the dirt path.

I turn around to see Jackson, Tig, and Happy coming our way, all smiles now that they're free from the prison's cages. I can't help but notice how much older Jackson looks with the short haircut, and he seems more like the leader the others expect him to be now. Gone is the boyish charm and in front of us stands a mature man fit to run a club one day. 

Happy's eyes are only for me as he scans my body up and down. He'd left the house to allow me peace and quiet while I was getting ready, so he hadn't been able to see the finished product until now. The dress hangs down to the ground and is covered in a floral print. It dips low in the front, but not in a way as to show off too much. The dress ties around my neck leaving my back exposed. When Happy reaches me he slips one arm around my waist and presses a kiss to my cheek. 

"You look nice." Happy whispers in my ear so his two brothers can't hear and a blush creeps up my neck. 

"You don't look too bad yourself." I tease while stealing a kiss on the lips. Jax slings an arm over Tara's shoulders as we all head up the drive. 

"Pretty good turn out." Jax speaks up. "Everybody made it. Ope and Lyla will be happy." 

"Seems like everyone who owns a motorcycle in California is here." I speak up, still not all that close with Jackson or Tig. I didn't spend much time with them before they went inside. I know now after all the long conversations with Gemma and Tara while the Sons were gone that it's my responsibility to build relationships. Happy can't fight all of my battles for me, and if this is ever going to work, the prodigal prince has to trust me. 

"You're probably right." Jackson flashes me one of his prize winning smiles. Happy threads his fingers through mine in a loose hand hold as we step into the crowd of outlaws. “Celebrations tend to bring us all together regardless of the patch.” 

As we stop to greet the guests along the way, I'm overwhelmed by the sheer number of people here. I see Mayans kuttes, Sons members from different charters, Grim Bastards, whom I know nothing about, as well as those who aren't in any identifying colors. Marcus Alvarez steps over to us and greets Jackson with a warm hug and slap on the back. They exchange pleasantries and then the Latino turns his attention to me. 

"Ah, a lady of color." Marcus reaches out and takes my hand before pressing a kiss to the top of it. 

"Victoria,” I introduce myself with a smile. “it's great to meet you."

"Nice to see some variety to the Samcro ladies." He flashes me a kind smile before reaching to shake Happy's hand. 

"Hap couldn't resist the Latin love." Tig chimes in as he nudges the enforcers shoulder. "Speaking from experience, they are superior." Happy let's out a snort of laughter while rolling his eyes and shoving Tig back.

"It must feel good to have them out of Stockton." Marcus says to me. “And a wedding all in one day. Don’t you guys ever take a day off?” He jokes and that earns a few words of protest from the Sons. The men exchange a few words before Marcus heads off, but not before he gives me one last warm smile. 

"He likes you." Happy leans down and mumbles in my ear as I watch the President of the Oakland charter weave his way through the guests. 

"Birds of a feather." I shrug my shoulders with a smirk. 

"Remind me not to take you to Oakland." I give his chest a playful swat as we move on to the next group. Jackson is in a full blown discussion with a group of Sons from another charter and the look on his face is pure happiness with Tara beside him. It's nice to see the guys on this side of the fence in their element, happy. Tara as well looks like she's on top of the world. 

As Happy connects with a few other members of the Mayans, I can't shake the feeling that someone's eyes are on me. I tune out from the conversation taking place beside me and scan the crowd to see where it's coming from. My gaze lands on the same blonde from the clubhouse surrounded by a group of crow eaters. While the blonde watches me, the rest of the group is interacting with each other having a good time. That crystal blue stare never leaves me and there's something dark inside it. I nudge Happy and do my best to point her out without being too obvious. 

"What aren't you telling me?" I whisper in his ear, my eyebrows scrunched. "She looks like she wants to drink my blood for breakfast." Happy's eyes flicker over my shoulder and when the blonde notices she looks away almost instantly. "We’ve made eye contact multiple times and she did not hesitate. You look at her once and she gives up."

"Ignore her."

"I didn't think crow eaters were invited to the wedding. What are they doing here?"

"She isn't a crow eater." My mouth snaps shut as I stare up at him, my eyes going cold. Happy's tone indicates it's a touchy subject and now I'm concerned. 

"Happy, who is she?" He is silent for a moment before he latches onto my arm and drags me through the crowd to a quiet area just a few steps into the trees. 

"Her name is Brandy. She use to hang around the Tacoma clubhouse when I first patched in." Happy runs a hand over his shaved head and sighs. "We hooked up a few times. It was never serious for me." 

"But it was for her." I connect those dots easy enough from her behavior.

"She was crazy. Certifiably off her shit, baby." He looks at me and I can tell it's hard for him to talk about. "She faked a pregnancy, she—"

"A baby?" I deadpan, my heart stopping in my chest. I stare at him in disbelief. I've come to care so deeply for him that the thought of anyone else having a hold on him makes me sick. 

"It was never real." He steps over to me and takes my face in his hands. "It was all a fuckin' game. I thought she disappeared when I patched Nomad." I can see he's concerned about my reaction but I pull myself from his grip anyway. "It's not uncommon for girls to hop from clubhouse to clubhouse." 

"She's here because you got out. You told me she wasn't an ex."

"She's not an ex." Happy snaps at me, his tone causing me to freeze. "You're the only real thing I've ever had. You're the only one who stuck by me. She isn't shit to me, got it?" I'm silent, no words coming to mind as I replay all this new information in my head. This woman may or may not have been pregnant with his child and seems to think she still has ties to him or else she wouldn't be here. 

"Maybe not to you, but this girl is here for you." His head shakes no, but there's no denying the facts. 

"So we both have crazy _people_ in our lives that won't let us go." I tiptoe around my words trying not to use one that will trigger him. 

"I don't want to fight about this." I take a peek over my shoulder to see the wedding attendees all heading towards the seats for the ceremony. 

"We should go." I turn to head in that direction but I'm stopped by his grip on my arm. 

"We aren't going anywhere while you're pissed at me." I shrug my shoulders and try to pull away but he's persistent. "She doesn't mean a damn thing, Victoria."

"I believe you." He lets out a sarcastic laugh. 

"Don't try to bullshit me. How can I fix this?" I think over his question for a moment before answering. 

"Get rid of her." I can tell he's surprised by my words and a dangerous smirk pulls at the corners of his lips as his hands move to my waist where he drags me closer. I want to stay mad at him, I want to demand answers, but that look fills my lower body with want. 

"Is this you staking claim?" Happy whispers in my ear as he presses kisses along my jawline and down to my shoulder.

"Maybe it is." His hand reaches to the back of my neck to drag me into a forceful kiss that leaves me breathless. 

"I fuckin' love it." My bottom lip is nipped by his teeth and I have to take a few steps backwards to keep from tearing his shirt off right there. 

"We have to go." I reiterate while reaching for his hand, but he brushes it off to wrap an arm around my shoulders. Happy pulls me into his side and presses a kiss to the top of my head as we make our way to our seats.

•••

The ceremony goes over without a hitch, and by the time it's finished I'm starving. As we sit at our designated table chit chatting about life, I can't help but feel like everything is right. Though the guys seem distracted, like there's other business to attend to but I try to ignore it and focus on the here and now. Lyla comes over after a few moments alone as husband and wife with Opie, and I stand from our table to give her a hug. 

"You were beautiful." I kiss her cheek before releasing her. While looking over her shoulder I see Jacquelyn coming up the drive, and I know it was hard for her to miss the ceremony, but her job had a prevented her from leaving any earlier. She'd spent the last few hours in Skype meetings with her clients since she refused to be there in person. 

"I'm married!" She squeals out while gazing over at Opie who is in a deep discussion with his father. "Who knew I'd end up his old lady." 

"Congratulations, Mrs. Winston." Jackson calls out from across our table where he sits next to Tara, her back leaning against his chest as she sits on the edge of her own chair. They've been inseparable all night. Jacquelyn finally makes her way over and envelopes Lyla into a warm hug. 

"Im sorry I missed it. I got here as soon as I could." My blonde best friend tells the bride. 

"Piney recorded the whole thing. You can watch it later." A smile pulls at Jac's lips. 

"I'd like that." She reaches for me next and hugs me tight. "Whats the hateful crow eating bitch doing here?" Jac whispers so Happy can't hear and I shrug my shoulders as Jacquelyn eyes the icy blonde from across the room. 

"I'm glad you're here." I tell her, my voice filled with truth.

"Me too, I'm going to go find Koz and then we will talk." She squeezes my hand before turning and disappearing into the crowd. As Lyla takes a seat to talk with the group, Happy leans over and presses a kiss to my cheek. 

"I have to leave in a few." His lips tickle my ear and I shiver. 

"Where are you going?" I scrunch my eyebrows as his hand squeezes my thigh. This isn't something we had discussed before we got here. 

"Club stuff. I'll see you in a few hours." I hesitate to answer, the mood soiled by the news of his departing. The vague answer makes me feel like he's up to no good and I see Jackson and Happy exchange a look through my peripheral vision. 

"You can tell me." I whisper to Happy as Jackson's attention turns back to the newly wedded blonde seated at the table. "You can tell me anything." I reach up and brush my fingers along his jawline. "I'm in this with you." My voice is filled with hidden meaning and by the expression on his face he gets that this is something I need. The corners of his mouth turn up in a soft smile of reassurance before he leans down and presses his lips to mine. 

"I promise I will tell you everything in time." He whispers just centimeters from my lips. "It ain't nothing for you to worry about." Jackson stands from his seat which causes Happy to push his own back to do the same. I reach out to take his hand, knowing whatever he's headed to do can't be good with the secrets lining his words. 

"Be careful, okay?" A chuckle rumbles through his chest as he stretches his arms over his head. 

"Not even the devil would take me, baby. I'm safe." I roll my eyes at the nonchalant tone towards death or injury and Jackson lets out a laugh from across the table. 

"Let's go, killer. We've got business with our vodka drinking friends." Jackson eyes the table where Clay sits with Tig and a few men I wasn't introduced to. They look to be deep in discussion and I wish I was close enough to hear. Happy leans down and rests his hands on my thighs before pressing a final kiss to my lips. 

"I'll see you at home." A grin pulls at my lips at the thought of him coming home to me after all this time apart. I've looked forward to it every day. "Got anymore tricks up your sleeve?" He whispers in my ear. 

"I have a few." I can tell that he likes that answer as he stands back up. Before departing, Happy calls out to Marcus Alvarez, who I'd been introduced to only hours before. 

"What you need, brother?" Alvarez calls out, his accent thick. 

"Clubs got business. Think you could look after my girl?" Marcus cocks an eyebrow at the taller man. 

"It's a celebration. The Sons can't put it to rest for one night?" There's amusement in his voice but Happy avoids his question. 

"Gemma can get her home safe, but just in case, while she’s here. I'd appreciate it."

"Of course, hermano. I was just looking for a partner to dance with." The latino man's gaze turns to me as he holds a hand out. 

"I'd love to." I place my hand in his as Happy eyes us with curiosity. "Since _someone_ wouldn't ask." I gesture towards Happy while sliding around him to follow Marcus onto the dance floor. Happy's eyes stay locked on us until Jackson comes up and nudges his shoulder. I watch as a few of the Sons head off towards the parking lot, but I'm pulled back by the Mayan president.

"How long have you been with the enforcer?"

"That's a new one I haven't heard before." I rest my hand lightly in his as he grips my waist and we join the other couples on the dance floor as the upbeat music plays. "We met not long before they went inside."

"Ah, so you're new to this life." There's a knowing look on his face as a smile forms. "You've still got some innocence left in you, I can see that."

"I don't know if I'd say that."

"I've seen my share of women come and go. This life can turn you cold. It's best you hold onto the part that’s still warm." His brown gaze stays locked on mine and there's something about him that seems wiser than his years. 

“What about you, where’s your date?” I ask as I look around the room at all of the people dancing around us. 

“My wife is at home with my children.” I raise an eyebrow at him. 

“She didn’t want to come with you?” Marcus’s eyes turn serious. 

“She doesn’t attend these things with me. I worry less if she’s at home, safe from harm.” His hands tighten around my waist as we continue to dance. 

“It’s just a wedding. I’m sure she would’ve loved to dance with her husband.” Marcus laughs but the sound feels forced. 

“There’s no such thing as _just_ anything when it comes to the Sons. You should remember that.” As the song from the live band comes to an end Marcus extends his arm to spin me in a circle before releasing his hold. "Thank you for the dance." Marcus tips his head to me and steps from the stage just as someone comes up behind me and grabs my shoulders. 

"I have to talk to you." I whip around in surprise to see Tara with a grin on her face. She takes my wrist and drags me off the stage and when I turn to take a look at the table the Sons had just been sitting at, its empty. "Jax proposed." Tara whispers once we are out of ear shot from the rest of the crowd. 

"What?" A grin pulls at my lips as I take her hands in mine and bounce up and down with excitement. "This is so great!"

"We haven't told anyone yet, you're the first. We wanted to wait until the perfect time."

"Couldn't keep the secret to yourself, huh?" I tease. Tara's expression turns serious.

"You're the closest thing I've ever had to a best friend, Victoria." Without thinking I reach out and wrap her in a tight hug, which takes her by surprise. "You've been such a huge help to me while Jax was inside." When I release her I can see all over her face that she's genuine. "I appreciate you more than you know. Abel, he loves you like family. So do I." Tara's words fill my chest with joy. 

"You have no idea how much that means to me." Tara leans over to press a kiss to my cheek before heading back over to the table where Gemma has joined the group of women. Now that the Sons have went off to do god knows what Lyla, Gemma, Tara, and a few other old ladies from other charters sit and talk with no worries of what their men may be up to. I on the other hand, can't stop thinking about it. 

"Victoria, right?" I hear someone say and I spin around to see the blonde, Brandy, staring at me with those icy orbs. 

"Yes?" I look her up and down while waiting for her to speak. 

"I thought we should meet. I'm Brandy." She holds a hand out for me and I take it with tentative caution. "We should probably sit down and talk. Now that the boys aren't around to interrupt." I raise an eyebrow while crossing my arms over my chest. 

"What do we have to talk about?" I can feel the fire building in my chest at the way she stares at the reaper hanging from the necklace around my neck. 

"I think you know." I say nothing. "Happy isn't telling you the truth about me, of that I'm sure. He told you I was a fling, right? A liar, maybe that I'm even crazy." My lips purse as I listen to her words. I give nothing away and that causes her to smile. "You're a tough one. I'm impressed."

"Tor, I need you!" A second voice calls out and I see Jacquelyn running towards me with a cheeky grin. She holds a glass of champagne in one hand and the other is outstretched towards me. When my best friend sees who stands in front of me the lightheartedness fades. "Excuse us." Jacquelyn's tone is full of venom as she grabs my arm and drags me away. "It's time for the bouquet toss!" I catch one last glance of Brandy over my shoulder before I'm immersed back in to the chaos, but her words never leave my mind, and it's all I think about until Gemma loads us back into the caddy to head home.


	8. Pressure

**VICTORIA**

I try my hardest to fight sleep, but the day has been long and my eyes get heavier and heavier the longer I lay in bed. I'm pulled back to the land of the living by the bed dipping under the weight of Happy's knees as he leans down to press a kiss to my forehead. My eyes flutter open as my arms reach out to stretch. 

"Go back to sleep." Happy mumbles out, the moon from the window barely illuminating his face in the dark room. "I'm gonna shower." As he leaves the room I struggle to wake up. The thought of sleeping while he's here for the first time in fourteen months seems silly. I can sleep anytime. 

I slip my bare legs over the side of the bed onto the carpeted floor and let out a tired sigh while standing. The air is chilly after being wrapped up in the warm blankets and I hug my arms to my chest as I make my way into the bathroom. The door opens without a sound and I pull the shirt from my body before reaching for the shower curtain. 

As I pull it open, the movement startles Happy and he spins around from his spot under the spray, his hand raises in defense. My heart stops in my chest and a hard breath escapes my lips as we lock eyes, both of us frozen. There's a lethal expression written across his face, his eyes dark, but they soften when he realizes it's me and we're at home, not Stockton. 

"Shit." Happy reaches for me and drags me under the water with him as he wraps his arms around my shoulders. My heart slows and resumes a normal pace as I take in what just happened. "I'm sorry." He mumbles against the top of my head as the spray pours down, soaking me in seconds. "I'm sorry." He repeats. 

"It's okay." My voice is weaker than intended. 

"It's hard to let my guard down." He releases me from his hold and I look up while resting my hand against his cheek. I can see the shame on his face at his actions and he barely meets my gaze. 

"It's fine." I lean up and press a kiss to his lips as his hands slip lower. 

"You know i'd never hurt you, right?" My brain starts to get fuzzy as his fingers dance along the small of my back while his lips trail down my neck. He uses one hand to brush my hair over my shoulder as his lips moves lower. My eyes snap closed as he kneels on his knees to kiss down my stomach to my abdomen. All is forgiven as Happy runs his fingers down my leg to my ankle where he lifts to wrap my leg over his shoulder. 

"I know." I breathe out, the incident the farthest thing from my mind.

•••

The sun comes up too soon for my liking and after spending most of the night and early hours talking with Happy, my body feels anything but rested. Instead of silence in the small home, I'm greeted by the sound of bacon sizzling and the smell of fresh coffee. I lay flat on my back and enjoy the feeling of the mattress molding to my body. If there's one thing I don't regret taking from my apartment in Tacoma, its the memory foam mattress beneath me.

After ten minutes of waking up, I drag myself from the bed and reach for a pair of sweatpants that lay strewn on the floor. A frown pulls at my lips as I glance at the clock on the bedside table and see it's nearing eight. I'd been forced into an early shift at the station and I'd rather do anything than that. My heart hurts at the thought of leaving this bubble, but I know the Sons have their own plans and I'd end up being at home alone anyway. 

As I step into the kitchen I take a moment to enjoy the sight in front of me Happy stands at the stove, a spatula in his hands as he watches the eggs cook. He's clad in a pair of jeans and a white tee is draped over his shoulder leaving his torso bare. 

"I'm right behind you." I tease, not wanting to sneak up and scare him just to have another reenactment of last night in the shower. Happy's head turns and there's a look of regret on his face. 

"Won't happen again." He mumbles out.

"Hey." I reach out to slip my arms around his waist from behind. I feel him sigh against me as I press a kiss to his naked shoulder. "I'm not holding it against you."

"I am." Happy turns to face me and reverses our roles, pushing me back against the island away from the hot stove. "I never want you to think that shit might happen to you." He watches me with intrigue as he brushes his hand against my cheek before kissing me. 

"You're not your father." I mumble out against his lips without thinking of the repercussions my words might bring. Happy's body freezes against my own before he pulls himself from my grip. He turns his back so fast I'm left a little surprised. I cross my arms over my chest and let out a sigh as I realize I've touched a nerve. "You told me you'd tell me when you were out." My shoulders shrug as he ignores me and resumes his position at the stove. "Well, you're out."

"Not today."

"Why?" Happy sets the utensil down and reaches to pull the shirt over his head before heading towards the couch where his kutte lays draped over the back. My heart sinks when I realize what's happening. "You're leaving?" 

"I said not today." He keeps his gaze trained towards the door and I admit defeat while stepping towards the stove to check the food before turning the knob to shut it off. I lean against the counter and watch as he collects his wallet, burner phone, and riding glasses before turning for the door. 

"I gave up everything for you." I call out to him as his hand turns the knob. He stops what he's doing, but still doesn't look my way. "I gave up my home, the only city I've ever known, seeing my best friend every single day." I keep my voice even, not wanting to start a fight, only speaking to put this in perspective. "I took a chance on a man I barely knew, but knew enough that I could piece together that you're not always a good, law abiding citizen." Happy's body turns to face me as he swings the door open. "Least you could do is be honest with me when I ask. I'll see you after work." 

Not even the mention of my job which he hates can pull him out of silence as he gives me one last look before stepping out into the sunshine. The door slams behind him and moments later the sound of his bike disrupts the silent neighborhood. My eyes roll as I reach for a plate. It'd be a shame if all the food he cooked went to waste.

•••

The station is quiet as I sit at my desk filling out reports while I wait for any emergency calls to come through. It's a slow afternoon, much like most days since Charming doesn't see much crime. In my head I keep replaying the morning over and over. It'd felt like a breakthrough when Happy wrote me the letter from Stockton, but I'm seeing now nothing is easy with the Son. Every layer of him has to be chipped away bit by bit.

"Quiet day." A voice speaks behind me, pulling my mind back to the present, and I turn in my desk chair to see Sheriff Roosevelt. 

"Thankful for that." 

"You know, last night was pretty eventful." I raise an eyebrow. "The Samcro wedding? I was there." I let out a sigh as I realize where this is going. Roosevelt has left me alone for the most part, but here he is just one day after the guys are released. 

"It's a shame I didn't see you. I could've introduced you to Happy." My tone is laced with sarcasm as I watch him walk closer. 

"Oh, was he there?" There's interest in his voice and that peaks my own. 

"Of course. Where else would he be?" Roosevelt watches me for any sign of guilt, but since I have no idea what he's talking about, I give nothing away. 

"The reason I ask is because a few Russian kingpins were murdered last night. Shot down and their bodies dropped on the front lawn of Charming Heights." I do my best to hide any emotion as I think back to Happy leaving the reception early. 

"I'm sorry, is there an actual point here Sheriff, or is this an intimidation tactic?"

"I just find it interesting that since I've taken over, it's been pretty quiet here." He steps over to lean against the desk beside me, his arms crossing over his chest. "Day one when your boys are released, we've got multiple homicides on our hands. The same Russians who were responsible for Jackson Teller's near death mishap are now in body bags at the morgue." 

My mind shifts to the night Tara got the call. We knew it was only a matter of time before something happened to one of the Sons, but we never thought anyone would lay hands on the VP. Tara was inconsolable for days after, and it was a close call for the blonde she loves. 

"Do you see where I'm connecting these dots?" I glare over at him as my phone begins to ring on the desk. 

"Is that all, Sheriff?" Roosevelt nods his head when he realizes he's not going to get anything from me. I'd learned from Gemma its best to keep my mouth shut when all else fails. I've learned so much from the matriarch, and I'm glad we'd had those heart to hearts over the course of the last year. 

"Sure. For now." He pushes himself off the desk and heads for the door just as it swings open to reveal the matriarch herself. She glances at Roosevelt before rushing over. "It's always nice catching up with you, Miss Estrada." With that he exits the dispatch room just as Gemma makes it over. 

"Hey, baby." She leans down and kisses my cheek before grabbing a desk chair from the vacant cubicle beside me. She starts digging through her purse and after a few moments pulls out her cell phone. "You talked to Tara lately?"

"No, why?"

"Some shit went down at the reservation. Jackson and Ope got held up by some Russians, and I've been trying to get ahold of her." Gemma looks down at her watch. "It's a little after two." She points out and I realize I was off about fifteen minutes ago, but thanks to the Sheriff I'd lost track of time. 

"I didn't realize." I close the folder in front of me and reach for my purse before pushing back from the table. "Thanks for picking me up. Clearly there's more important things going on." I gesture towards the phone in her hand and the worried expression on her face. 

"The boys are safe, but I'd like to see that for myself. Let's go."

•••

"Why would they do this?" I breathe out as I take in the sheer destruction that is the clubhouse. Gemma stands beside me, her hands on her hips as she lets out a low whistle. Her stiletto toed boot reaches out to kick a shattered whiskey bottle out of her path as she steps deeper into the room.

"They can't get shit out of the club." She mumbles. "That prick Roosevelt has a hard on for taking them down. He thinks he can break 'em by creating chaos." Gemma turns to me. "What were you two talking about earlier?" 

"I think he wanted me to slip up." I glance around at the room, feeling a kind of sadness at the loss. Happy and I grew into what we are here. I became a better me, here. To see it like this is a shame. "He was asking about the wedding." Gemma nods her head just as the door swings open and Tara comes storming in looking frantic. 

"Are they back yet?" Gemma steps over to wrap the brunette in a hug. 

"Not yet, sweetheart. Should be any time now."

"You need me to watch the boys?" I call out while stepping towards the two. 

"They're at home with the nanny. I didn't want Abel catching on that something was wrong." As the words leave her mouth Tara's phone starts vibrating. She looks down at it before looking back at us. "Jax. They're almost here."

Tara stands beside me, her arms crossed over her chest as we wait for the Sons to return. The continuous pacing has me on edge as she bites at her fingernails. The text she'd received was over fifteen minute ago, and she hasn't been able to sit still since. 

"Tara—" I reach out to take her arm but she shakes me off with a shaky breath. 

"He told me he wants out of this shit." She whispers. "I can't keep doing this." I force her hand into my own and she relaxes after a moment. She glances up at me, her brown orbs swimming with unshed tears. 

"He's okay." I pull her into a hug. Tara's arms wind around my waist as she leans into me. 

"I'm not strong enough for this." Her words vibrate against my shoulders as I take in what she's saying. Tara has been the strongest woman I've ever met, aside from Gemma, so I'm caught off guard by her vulnerability. "He just got out."

"Hey." I pull away and take her face in my hands. "Nothing is going to happen to him." 

Tara's gaze snaps to the entrance of TM at the sound of Harley's and she takes off running towards the sound as the bikes pull in followed by the tow truck. The Sons are welcomed with open arms as Lyla steps over to Opie and Jax hops down from the passenger seat of the oversized TM truck. Tara leaps into his arms and I'm left standing alone as I watch them. I'm aware that Happy isn't with them and part of me wishes he was. We haven't spoken since he left the house, and I just want to know he's okay after hearing what happened to Jax and Opie. Chibs comes over a moment later and frowns as he looks me over. 

"Why the sad face, love?" 

"Haven't heard from Hap." Chibs slings an arm over my shoulders and presses a kiss to the top of my head as I lean into him. 

"He's in Bakersfield. Got some cargo at his ma and aunt's." The mention of Happy's relatives peaks my interest. He hadn't mentioned any of this to me. "Won' be back till late, I imagine." Chibs leads us into the clubhouse and I watch as the members take in their surroundings. Their livelihood has been destroyed and it's written all over their faces how much it hurts them. 

"We'll get a crew in here tomorrow." Clay mumbles while holding JT's mug shot in his hand. "Start fixin' it up." Tara stands among the rubble looking worse for wear as she takes it all in. She'd been too preoccupied with her old man's safety earlier to really notice. 

"I have some good news." She calls out while reaching into her jeans pocket and I have a feeling I know where this is going. Everyone turns their attention to her as I sit with Gemma. Tara slips the ring she had shown me into her finger as a wide smile pulls at her lips. "We're engaged!" Jackson looks taken off guard but recovers as a proud smirk forms on his lips. The two share a kiss and I can't help but feel so unbelievably happy for the two. 

"About time." Gemma leans over and whispers in my ear. 

"Better late then never." I tease with a shrug while the crowd cheers and claps for the couple. 

"Serve 'em up." Clay calls out to Juice and a few crow eaters behind the bar. As everyone takes turns congratulating Jax and Tara I leave Gemma to grab a drink from the bar. Opie and Lyla catch my attention as I steal a seat at the bar. 

"You don't seem all that surprised." Lyla points out as she motions towards the two.

"Tara told me at the wedding. She didn't want to steal your thunder so she kept it to herself." Lyla nods while taking a sip from her beer. 

"Where's Hap?" 

"Bakersfield, apparently." I turn my attention to Opie. "News to me." 

"Last minute plans. Probably slipped his mind." 

"Yeah, I bet." I mumble out as Juice reaches across the wood top to hand me a Rolling Rock. My phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out to see a text from Happy. "Speak of the devil."

'Won't be back till 3 or 4 at the earliest. See u in the am.'

A sadness creeps into my chest as I look around at the clubhouse. Amongst the chaos and rubble, everyone is excited and happy. I watch Tara with Jackson, Ope with Lyla, even Gem with Clay. I wish more than anything that Happy was here to enjoy this moment with me, but instead he's miles away.


	9. I Love You

**JACQUELYN  
TACOMA, WA**

My phone vibrates with texts from Kozik as I stroll down the sidewalk towards my car and I roll my eyes at his dependence. I'd spent less than twenty-four hours in Charming this last visit for Lyla's wedding, and it's apparent the time I did get was not enough for my old man. I'd caught a flight back early this morning and was due in the office promptly at nine am for a meeting. Being involved in public relations has it's downfalls. 

As I stare down at my phone with a smile at the sweet words Kozik had sent, I'm startled by someone reaching out to grab my upper arm. 

"Excuse m—" I start, but stop when I turn to see Cameron. His hair is disheveled, his clothes sloppy. He is lightyears from the man I knew when he was dating my best friend. 

"I just want to talk." Cameron's voice is calm, a hard opposite to his appearance. The bloodshot eyes tell me he's been leaning heavy on the booze.

"We have nothing to talk about, Cameron. This is over." I raise an eyebrow at him. "She's happy in Charming, just let her be."

"I can't do that." He snaps. 

"You've got to let her go. This isn't healthy." I type out a quick reply to Kozik and hit send before turning my attention to the man in front of me. "It's been over a year. She's not coming back."

"She's not safe there. Those scumbags are criminals. They're dangerous. Maybe that lifestyle works for you, but it's not Victoria. She's better than that trash." A sarcastic laugh leaves my lips. 

"She's safer with them than she'd ever be here with you." My words are laced with judgement as I look him up and down, making it obvious that I'm aware of his current state of mind. "You're just mad that all the money in the world couldn't buy her. That _trash_ treats her better than you ever did. He loves her." Cameron eyes me, his expression turning dark as he takes an aggressive step forward. "I carry a gun, Cameron. I'm not afraid of you." That gets him to back off. If he thinks his intimidation tactics will work on me, he's sorrily mistaken. 

"If money won't change her mind, maybe one of his skeletons will."

"What's that suppose to mean?" I rest a hand on my hip as I eye him with suspicion. 

"A kid, you idiot. Biker boy has a kid, a baby mama, the whole nine." A smirk forms on Cameron's lips. "I wonder how much of that our girl knows."

"What the fuck do you know? You don't know anything about them. Any of them. Your claims are bullshit." The defense switch flips on and my chest fills with heat. I've grown so close to the club and all the people it encircles that any disrespect fills me with rage. 

"I know money may not be able to buy Victoria, but it can buy good information from the right people." I stare at him for a long moment before turning. 

"Don't come to my place of work again. Got it?" I point a finger at him, my words filled with promise. 

"What's wrong, Jac? Afraid there might be some truth here?"

"Go fuck yourself, Cameron. For fucks sake you're pathetic. The best thing Victoria ever did was get as far from you as she could." I seethe while taking a few steps closer to him. The rage bubbles over. His words push every last button. The way he treated her, the nights she'd cry on the phone to me, the way he spoke of her, all of it rises to the surface. I'd kept my mouth shut for years for the sake of her, but no more. "You can't stand it that you can't get to her. You fucking hate that she's protected by the club and you can't get within twenty feet. It eats at you to not have the upper hand because you always have." I watch as his jaw ticks and his face blooms red. "All that money, all that success and you still lose, Cameron. You fucking lose." I turn on my heel and storm off to my car. 

Every ounce of me wanted to reach out and punch him, but I know that would only fuel his fire. Having ammo against me would be a field day for Cameron. We've always disliked each other, but now after seeing the way Victoria thrives without him, I hate him that much more. He'd held her back for the sake of keeping her his. It was selfish, and she's a million times the woman she was then. I find my car and get in, slamming the door and dialing Kozik before starting it. 

_"My girl, how was the meeting?"_ His cool voice soothes my nerves.

"Terrible. Listen, we have to talk." I cut off his sweetness, getting straight to the point. I hear him chuckle into the phone. 

_"How can I be of service to you?"_

"Does Happy have a kid?" I grit out, almost not wanting to hear the answer. Dishonesty would crush my best friend.

_"Not that I'm aware of. Why would you ask that?"_

"I just had a very interesting conversation with her ex. He claims to have info on Hap. He seemed pretty convinced it was accurate."

 _"If Hap had a kid, we'd all be shocked, baby. I think if it were true, Hap himself would be surprised."_ I let out a sigh while running a hand over my forehead. 

"This would hurt her, Koz. Don't mention a word, got it? Not to anyone."

_"You have my word, baby girl.”_

"I love you." I mumble out, my mood ruined for the day as Cameron's words replay inside my head. 

_"Don't let this eat at ya. The truth'll come out. It always doses."_ I appreciate in this moment the way Kozik is always positive. Not much gets him down, and he's an even keel in my chaotic world. "I love you."

__

**VICTORIA**  
CHARMING, CA

The garage is full of activity with mechanics and friends of the club coming by to help clean up the mess the Sheriff's department had left behind. The sun has only just started to go down, but I can feel the heavy fatigue settle in my muscles. I'd taken up quiet refuge in the garage office, hoping to catch up on invoices and insurance forms. My head spins with numbers as I type on a calculator, oblivious to someone coming in the open door. 

When I glance up I see Happy, his hands in his jeans pockets as he leans against the doorframe. His riding glasses sit perched on top of his head and his face is blank of any emotion. I must have been so caught up in my own world I hadn't heard him pull in. I toss the pen I'd been writing with down onto the desk and spin the chair so I'm face to face with him. 

"You're a lot earlier than three or four." I motion towards the clock on the desk with a nonchalant wave. Happy shrugs his shoulders and steps further in, claiming the seat across the desk from me. 

"Figured it was more important for me to be here." 

"For the club?" I question with a raised eyebrow as I glance out the door at Opie and Jax hauling out trash bags of rubble from the clubhouse. Happy shakes his head no as I rest my elbows on the wood top. 

"I shouldn't have gotten mad this morning." His voice is low as he leans back in the chair and crosses his arms over his chest. "You were only asking, I'm sorry." I watch him for a moment before opening my mouth. 

"You didn't tell me your family lived in Bakersfield."

"Clubs storing some shit there. Someone had to watch over it." My chest clenches when I realize once again none of the questions I ask he wants to give me a real answer to. His responses always stray from the personal. 

"Why won't you let me in?" My words come out soft and I watch as he lets out a sigh, never once breaking eye contact. Happy site up in the chair and rests his elbows on his knees while running his hands over his face. 

"It's a scary fuckin' world, girl." He mumbles out as he motions towards his temple with his pointer finger. 

"I'm not afraid." Happy stands from his seat and comes around the desk where he rests his hands on either arm rest around me. His lips find mine for a long, soft kiss before he stands once again, turning for the door. 

"Maybe I am."

__

A few hours later, against my better judgement, I'm four tequila shots deep in a game of pool with Chibs. The green velvet table was one of the only surviving furnishings from earlier today, and after cleaning up most of the destruction we'd decided to cut loose.

"Ay, sweetheart I think you've forgotten the rules of the game." Chibs calls out over the rock music as I land a striped ball in the pocket. "I'm stripes, you're solids." 

"A balls a ball." I giggle out while reaching for the shot glass sitting on the edge of the pool table. Chibs had ordered them a while ago but I'd had too many too quick to polish this one off. The liquor burns down my throat and I cringe at the chill that shoots down my spine. Chibs nudges my shoulder with a smirk and I reach out to swat his chest. 

"Shoot your shot, lass. I'm growin' old here." 

"You already are old, Chibby."

"You've wounded by heart." Chibs feigns hurt by pressing a hand over the left side of his chest. I take the cue and line it up with the solid red ball. I'm pulled out of my concentration by hands on my hips just as I shoot and the ball bounces and lands far from its intended destination. 

"Hey!" I call out with a pout as I turn around to see Happy with a soft smile on his lips. The cue drops to the floor forgotten as my arms wind around his neck. All is forgiven and forgotten now that I've been drinking, and the sight of him fills my chest with joy. "You made me miss." I whine as he leans down to press a kiss to my lips. 

"I don't think you were winning, regardless." Happy teases while giving me a squeeze. He lets me go and I turn back to Chibs who has lit a smoke and is lining up his own shot now that it's his turn. 

"Hap, you wan' to join?" The Scot calls out while releasing a puff of smoke. 

"Nah, I think I'd rather watch." Happy winks while taking a seat on the edge of the table so as not to disturb his brother's shot. I turn to the jukebox, the game far from my mind and flip the song to whatever's next. My gaze flickers over to where a group of regular crow eaters are dancing and the sight of them fills me with irritation. Wherever they are, the blonde known as Brandy isn't far. 

"I'll be back." I mouth to Happy over the music and push my way through the crowd to the back hall and further down to the apartment. The room is quiet as I swing the door open and head for the bathroom, but I'm startled by the door swinging open to reveal just the person I'd been thinking of. I take a step back, all my good intentions pointing towards leaving the situation before it turns bad.

"You can't avoid me forever." Brandy calls out just as I grab the door knob. "I'm not going anywhere."

"What do you want?" I snap as I turn back around. The tequila fills me with confidence, but her smug expression fuels the fire. 

"I just want everything I deserve." Her words are vague as she takes a few steps closer. She takes the neck of her shirt and pulls it to the side exposing black ink on her chest over her heart in the shape of a smiley face. My breath catches in my throat. "Our Son hasn't been honest with you."

"Our? You have no claim to him." The defensive tone causes her to grin even wider. 

"Pushing his nine pound child out of my body gives me all the claim in the world." I freeze at her words, remembering back to the wedding when he'd told me she faked a pregnancy. 

"You're pathetic." I seethe. 

"I'm the pathetic one?" Brandy mocks. "You believe him because he spins a good story, I'll give him that much."

"Even if what you're saying is true, it's obvious he doesn't want you around." The liquor turns in my stomach making me feel sick, but I refuse to show her weakness. 

"I'm not so sure about that." Brandy pushes past me and heads for the door, knocking into my shoulder on her way by. "Ask your boy what he was really up to all day. I'd be curious to hear his answer." 

Before she can leave, the door swings open to reveal the man of the hour. Brandy freezes as Happy assesses the situation and looks from her to me. 

"What the fuck is this?" He questions her with venom on his tongue. 

"Just filling your sweet butt in on what's really going on here." Brandy steps towards him and reaches to place a hand on his cheek. Happy's reflexes are cat like as he snatches her wrist and squeezes tight enough to earn a cry from the blonde. 

"Call her that again and I'll make sure you can never suck another rancid cock with that filthy fucking mouth." I can't see her face with her back to me, but I wish I could. Happy's words make me nervous and the look on his face is only worse. 

"She deserves to know the truth." 

"What truth?" Happy snaps. "The one where you can't let the fuckin' past die?" Happy releases her arm and she turns so she can look me over. 

"How about the one where you promised me the world and then bailed on your own child."

"There is no kid!" Happy shouts loud enough to cause me to jump back as he leans closer to Brandy. She shies away but Happy doesn't back off. "You are and always were nothing but a body to me. Do you understand that? Anything else is fuckin' fiction inside that whacked brain of yours." Brandy looks over at me one last time before admitting defeat and storming from the room. A weight leaves my chest with her exit and I let out a shaky breath. Happy comes over and rests his hands on my shoulders. 

"She has to go, I'm serious Hap. I don't know how but it has to happen." When I look up at him there's concern written all over his face. "Is there any truth to this?"

"None." 

"Shes convinced herself that you're the father of her child." I let out a sigh as I pull back from him and run a hand through my hair. "You're out two days and look at all this."

"Hey." Happy mumbles while slipping one arm around my waist to drag me back against his chest. "As long as I know we're good, I don't give a shit about anything else." He presses a kiss to the side of my face and I relax into him. 

"I just wanted things to be perfect when you got out. Just me and you. Now we've got all this." He squeezes me tighter and I can feel him release a deep breath. 

"I know you want all the answers. I know it pisses you off that I'm not an open book," he drags me around to face him and cups my face in his hands. "But I can tell you one thing for certain." 

"And what's that?"

"I love you." The words cause my heart to stop in my chest. If there's one thing I thought I'd be doing first in our relationship, it's saying those three words. There's no second guessing on his face, just true conviction that tells me he means it whole heartedly. "You're the only person besides my ma that I can say that about. No matter what that bitch tells you, she means nothing. She never got from me what I want to give to you." 

"I love you, too." I breathe out while leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. Happy's grip on my waist tightens as he slips his tongue past my lips and the kiss turns rough as he pushes me back towards the dresser. My back hits the wood and some of the things on top tumble to the ground but I pay them no mind as Happy presses his body flush against my own. 

When Happy pulls away from the kiss he presses his forehead to mine and watches me with that same intense look he gets when he's deep in thought. 

"What do you want to know?" He whispers out, vulnerability filling his eyes. His arms release me as he steps over to the bed and sits on the edge. A thousand questions race through my mind, everything that's haunted me since he wrote the letter months ago.


	10. Truth

**BRANDY  
THREE MONTHS AGO  
TACOMA, WA**

Just another Saturday night at the clubhouse. My feet ache in the black stiletto heels, but I've grown accustomed to the feeling. The guys expect you to look your best if you're going to hang out here, especially on the weekends. The Sons couldn't have their girls hanging around in tennis shoes. 

My eyes roll almost as a reflex when I feel someone slap my ass and I spin around, locking eyes with Danny, a flea who hangs around the club willing to do anything to be associated with them. He'd never make the cut as a prospect, but they let him attend parties just for the sake of having someone in their pocket who owes them a favor. 

"Back off, Danny boy." It's obvious he's liquored up on whiskey, so when he slips an arm around my waist a laugh leaves my chest. "Come on." I reach for his wrists to push his grip down to his sides. "You know better." 

"Why not, B? You spend all your time micromanaging the sweet butts, you never make time for yourself." I snort and shake my head. 

"The days of fucking anything that comes my way are long past. Go talk to Krystal." I point through the crowd at a pretty redhead clothed in a skin tight black dress. "Go on." Danny gives me one last look before admitting defeat and heading off through the clubhouse to the girl I'd suggested. 

"Where's the kid?" I hear a voice behind me speak and I turn to see Lorca, one of the Tacoma Sons. He's been a good friend over the years.

"With my mom. Figured you guys could use some help with the size of the alcohol order I saw this morning." I busy myself with taking a case of beers and placing the bottles into the refrigerator behind the bar. "Looks like I was right." I gesture towards the overflowing room filled to the brim with members, friends and family. 

"You don't have to do that shit, you know." Lorca points at my busy hands and I smile. 

"I know, but I like to." The tall brunette nods, knowing full well I have nothing better to do with my time, and heads off to mingle with the party goers. Being a mom to my kid doesn't come instinctively like most would expect. The best thing I could do for the two year old is leave him with my mother, who was built for it. We are nothing alike, her and I.

My gaze snaps to the other end of the bar when I see a stranger accepting a beer from Natasha, a fresh crow eater. "Hey." I call out as I head that way and nudge Nat out of the way. "Who are you?" I scrunch my eyebrows at the decently dressed man before me. 

"Cameron." He extends a hand over the bar and I take it with a bit of hesitance as Natasha stands there with confusion written all over her face. I make it my business to know faces. The club has rules and to break them would bring consequences. I'm surprised he's made it this far without being thrown out on his ass. 

"You don't serve strangers." I scold her while reaching to take the beer back. I press the bottle to my lips and take a swig, all while staring at the newcomer. "He shouldn't even be here."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." Natasha stutters out looking like a scolded puppy. 

"Finish filling the fridge with those cases of Coors. No one likes a warm beer." Natasha hangs her head and heads over to finish the project I had just been working on. "So I'll ask you again, Cameron. Who are you and what are you doing here?" He raises his hands in defense. 

"I come in peace."

"You're so witty." I spit out. "You've got ten seconds to give me an answer."

"I'm looking for someone." I raise an eyebrow. When people come 'looking' for someone it's rarely a good thing. 

"Who?" 

"Guy named Happy." Those words get a reaction out of me and I take a step back. Happy hasn't spent any serious time with the Tacoma charter in years, almost three to be exact. He'd gone Nomad and never looked back. 

"You haven't spent much time around an MC have you?"

"Can't say that I have." His stare is intense and I can tell he means business. 

"You can't just come in asking questions about members. That shit will get you beat bloody."

"So why aren't you calling the dogs?" Cameron glances at the table of Sons with disgust. He tries to hide it, but it's obvious. 

"What do you want with him?" I avoid his question. Those old familiar feelings stir in my chest at the thought of Happy. I know it's best to get Lee or Lorca and let them handle this, the way they like to keep their secrets and all, but memories flash in front of my eyes which force my hand. It's not my place to give out member info or to even engage in a conversation involving a Son, but how can I not? 

"He's got my girl down in Charming." Jealousy rears it's ugly head and I reach to take another sip of the beer. The thought of Happy, my Happy, with anyone else is unacceptable. 

"If you know he's in California, why are you looking here?" Cameron leans closer, resting his elbows on the bar. 

"I'm looking for information more than the man himself." I cross my arms over my chest and eye him. 

"What kind of information?" My gaze flickers around to make sure no one is listening in on our conversation. I'd be thrown out no matter the relationships I've spent years building if I got caught. 

"Anything that proves he's not who he says he is." I hesitate to respond, knowing there's no going back once I open my mouth and spill the secrets. I don't know this man, but I know what he's saying is genuine. I'd do anything to get Happy back, and if that means putting myself at risk, then so be it. 

"I think I have just the thing." Cameron is silent for a moment before a smirk pulls at his lips. 

"Perfect."

__

**VICTORIA  
PRESENT DAY  
CHARMING, CA**

"What do you want to know?" Happy whispers out, vulnerability filling his eyes. His arms release me as he steps over to the bed and sits on the edge. A thousand questions race through my mind, everything that's haunted me since he wrote the letter months ago.

"Well now that you put me on the spot—" I trail off, doing my best to get my thoughts under control. 

"You've got an open book in front of you. Take advantage because it won't last." 

"Why didn't you tell me about your mom and aunt?" Happy fidgets under my stare and I can see that this is hard for him, but he's doing it for me against all of his instincts which I'm sure are screaming for him to stop. 

"It was club related. I didn't want to pull you into that shit." 

"What 'shit?'" Happy runs a hand over his jaw as he thinks over how to answer the question. "Just be honest. You don't have to sugar coat anything for me."

"We're using their house to store guns until we find a more permanent place." I nod as I think over the new information. I've always known the MC was involved in illegal activities, but having it said straight to my face feels different.

"And you didn't think I could handle that?"

"I want you clear of it all." 

"Do they know about me?" A soft smile pulls at the corners of his lips as his mind travels elsewhere. 

"They do. They want to meet you." The thought of meeting Happy's blood sends my mind into a spin and I can't stop my own smile from forming. "My ma, she thinks you're beautiful. Said you're way out of my league." That earns a laugh from me.

"And how does she know what I look like?" I cock an eye as he pulls his phone from his kutte pocket and presses a few buttons. He flashes me the screen and I make my way over to get a better look. The picture is one I didn't know he took. From what I can see he must have been sitting in bed and snapped a quick one as I came into the bedroom. It's candid and sweet considering who he is. "Happy Lowman, are you a closet romantic?" I tease and he reaches out to grab me by the backs of the thighs. I'm drug into his lap, my legs on either side as he claims my lips in a soft kiss. 

"You're lucky I love you." He mumbles against my lips as he grips me by the back of the neck. "Nobody calls me a romantic and lives to talk about it." The sinister look in his eyes fills me with desire. I lean back to sit on his thighs and try to keep myself under control. He has a way of distracting me, but tonight I want answers more than his body. 

"Don't try to distract me." I scold while climbing off his lap onto the bed where I sit cross legged. Happy lays back to lay flat as he turns his head, his fingers laced on his stomach. "Tell me about the letter you wrote me." I watch his chest rise and fall in a sigh. Happy's head turns so he can stare up at the ceiling. 

"Not much to say. My dad was a low life piece of shit." He's quiet for a moment as he ponders what to say and I leave him be, knowing full well this is a touchy subject. "I was eight, I think, when shit started with my mom. Dad lost his job and we ended up living in this cracker box trailer on the wrong side of the tracks." Happy continues to stare at the ceiling. 

"Ma just wanted food on the table, but what little money we did have went to booze and heroin. He was an addict." His hands reach up to run over his face and I thread my fingers through together, feeling anxious.

"At some point dad got sick of feeling guilty for not providing for us and I became the enemy. He was tired of my ma using me as a bargaining chip, so to prove he couldn't give a shit less he started taking his anger out on me." Happy sits up and stands from the bed. The kutte comes off first, then his shirt gets pulled over his head. He sits back down beside me and holds his left arm out for me to see. 

"Cigarette burns were his favorite form of torture." Happy's fingers point out the dozens of burns that line his arms. They've healed long ago, and all that remains is a faint raise in the skin, but there's no denying that there's dozens. "I started getting tattoos at fifteen to cover it up." Happy turns his back to me but turns to look over his shoulder. "Look close." I do as he asks, not sure what exactly I'm looking for but amidst all the intricate art adorning his skin, I see scar tissue lines that dance through the tattoos. "Those are from the belt." 

I can feel my heart shattering inside my chest as I reach up to run my fingers along the lines. How anyone could be so cruel to a child I'll never know. I don't know how it's possible to contain that much hate and anger. 

"He stabbed me once. I was late getting home from school and when I came inside he had a knife in his hand. I was sixteen maybe. Came at me all fucked up on heroin and just," He points to a spot on his side just below his rib cage. "Stabbed me."

"Hap—" 

"Don't." He cuts me off. "I don't want your pity." 

"I don't pity you, I just," I turn back to the scars on his back and without saying a word more I lean forward and press my lips to his skin. My eyes close and I can feel tears burning but I hold them back. The lingering tequila in my system doesn't help the emotion but I try to lock it down for his sake. 

"Where is he now?" 

"Prison, dead, hell I don't know. I could go on and on about the shit he use to do." Happy drags his shirt back over his head and faces me. "I don't know what happened to me, but lines between good and bad just got blurry. One day I was a normal kid the next I was filled with this uncontrollable rage. Shit didn't settle until I found the Tacoma charter. I found a way to channel all that hatred." 

"I'm sorry, baby." I sit up on my knees and slip my arms around his neck as he stands beside the bed. "If I could take it all away I would."

"None if that shit matters now." He brushes my hair behind my ear and kisses me. "I have you." A blush creeps up my neck as his kisses move from my lips, to my jaw, and down my neck. "Somehow with as fucked up as I am, you want me."

"Hap." I whisper out as he runs his hands up my shirt. 

"Hm?" Happy mumbles against my skin. 

"Let's go home."


	11. Confessions

As I step from the shower, my body screams with unrest from less than four hours of sleep total. I make a mental note to do my best to resist Happy's advances tonight, even though I know that is almost impossible. I'm amazed at how little sleep he can run on considering he was out the door before I even opened my eyes. The note on the pillow was the only remnant of him when I'd finally gotten myself up. 

My phone vibrates on the dresser in the bedroom and I rush over to answer, seeing Jac's smiling face in her contact photo. 

"Good morning." I greet with a yawn as I eye the clock. 

_"You just now getting around?"_ She teases. 

"Club had to have a party last night. You know how it goes."

_"I'm jealous. I spent all day yesterday in meetings. I'd much rather be in your place."_

"I don't know about that." I run a hand through the wet hair hanging down my back and plop down on the bed. Jacquelyn is quiet on the line which is unlike her. "What's up?"

_"Have you seen Cam around at all lately?"_

"No." My mind wanders to the many times he's popped up in Charming, but he's been quiet as of late. "Why would you ask?" I hear her sigh on the other end of the line and my heart drops. She wouldn't bring him up for conversation. 

_"I ran into him yesterday. He came to my job looking worse for wear."_

"Why would he do that?"

_"He was talking crazy. Accusing Hap of putting you in harms way, talking about his secrets and how he has information on him."_

"What kind of secrets?"

 _"He wasn't specific."_ The tone of her voice tells me there's more to the situation. 

"That's all he said?"

_"He's out of his mind, Victoria. I'm worried. It's been over a year and he's still trying to force you back."_

"I'm never going back there. I'll talk to Happy. He hasn't asked about Cameron but I guess now is as good a time as any to fill him in."

_"I've got to head back in, love you the most."_

"Ditto." I hang up the phone and let out a sigh while running my fingers through the wet strands hanging down into my face. The thought of worrying Happy with any Cameron information causes me to bite my bottom lip, but I know the time has come.

___

The clubhouse is quiet as I stand in the kitchen, the counter tops a mess as I get to work cleaning up after preparing three large dishes of lasagna. The entire building smells like garlic and basil and my mouth waters at the thought of digging in. It had taken me two hours to prepare the giant meal and i had made sure to make extra since the Sons eat like they won't get another bite for weeks. 

I jump as the door slams and I spin around to see Lyla, Piper's hand gripped in hers as she hurries across the bar room. 

"Hey, hunny." The blonde calls out as she releases her son and he zooms into the kitchen. "Smells amazing. What did ya make?" 

"Family recipe of lasagna. It's the best you'll ever have."

"Oh yeah? What's the occasion?" She reaches out to open the oven to take a peak at my masterpieces. 

"I was planning on telling Happy about Cameron's little pop-ins while he was in Stockton. Figured I should put him in a food coma first." A laugh leaves Lyla's chest as she looks over at the ingredients sitting beside a mixing bowl. 

"Topping it all off with some homemade cookies?" She raises an eyebrow. 

"Well, duh."

"Can I help?" Piper's eyes light up when he sees the unopened bag of chocolate chips.

"Of course. Don't you know I was waiting on you?" The little boys face lights up as starts to drag a bar stool over to climb up on. 

"You and Hap want kids?" Lyla asks as she tears open the bag of chocolate and pops a few into her mouth. Her expression is full of genuine curiosity.

"We've never talked about it." I realize, but at the same time it had always felt like our relationship was still in the beginning stages after spending fourteen months apart. Kids were far both of our radars, I would assume. 

"Well, what about you?" Lyla eyes me with her wide blue pools as she tosses the chocolate chips into her mouth one by one. 

"Maybe someday. It's a scary thought still even in my late twenties."

"I get that." She comes over and presses a kiss to Piper's forehead. "He was an a-c-c-i-d-e-n-t," Lyla spells out. "But now? Can't imagine my life without him. He's the best thing that ever happened to me."

"What's Opie think about kids?" I reach for the bag of flour while helping Piper gather up the mixing bowl for the Kitchen Aide mixer. 

"Ope thinks now that we are married all rules don't apply." Her shoulders shrug and I can see the solemn look creep onto her face. "He thinks we can afford more kids, but I know we can't. Not without him getting deeper into the club or me working double time at the studio. It just isn't feasible."

"Have you told him that?" Lyla's head shakes no as she leans her back against the refrigerator and crosses her arms over her chest. 

"He's a stubborn man. There would be reasons why we could make it work, but I'm a realist. I can't miss out on a year of work to have a baby."

"You'd have help." I gesture around the room but her head only shakes harder. 

"Tara may think it's okay to raise a couple of kids around the clubhouse, but not me. Don't get me wrong, I love the club and Tara. They're family, but Piper won't know this life as normal." Lyla stares at her son with nothing but love and adoration reflected in her eyes. "I want him to make it out." I know there's more meaning behind her words than what she leads on and that causes my chest to tighten. 

"You're doing a great job, Lyla." I step over, leaving Piper to sift the flour with his hands as I embrace his mom in a tight hug. 

"I'm glad I met you." She mumbles into my ear before releasing me. "You're a great old lady, and Happy is so much different with you around." I release her and step back over to the mixing bowl. 

"Let's just hope these cookies are enough to keep his hatred for Cameron at bay." I tease, trying to lighten the mood a little and it works. 

"Oh hunny, I've seen him beat someone bloody for far less. If Cameron is still hanging around, he's going to regret it."

"That's what I'm afraid of." I sigh before reaching for the milk.

___

Dinner is a success and as the guys stuff their faces I linger about the kitchen, feeling an almost sort of dread at the thought of bringing up my ex. The tension in the clubhouse already seems to be thick when the guys returned after spending most of the day out. Gemma and Clay have been exchanging glares from opposite ends of the room and I'd thought better than to ask the matriarch what was eating at her. So I'd kept to myself for the last half hour. I'm lost in thought with a dish towel in my hand scrubbing spilled sauce from the counter when I hear a voice behind me. 

"You've been quiet." Happy's rasp never fails to warm my chest.

"Have I?" I try to mask the fact that my anxiety is high.

"Barely said two words since I got back." He steps further into the kitchen as I turn to face him. "You avoidin' me?" I shake my head no and run my fingers through my hair. Happy makes his way across the kitchen and slips his hands onto my waist, his face inches from mine. "What's wrong?"

"Nothings wrong, really." I can see his jaw tick, meaning he doesn't believe a word of it. "Can we just talk when we get home? I don't want to do it here." I glance over his shoulder at the full house. Happy pushes me flush against the counter top and I can feel his grip on my waist tighten. 

"Tell me." There's a finality to his tone, telling me he's not going to take no for an answer. I watch his expression turn dark as I rest my hands on his chest to push him backwards. I slip out of his grasp and head towards the door but stop at the exit. 

"You coming?" I motion for him to follow and he does. 

"Everything okay, sweetheart?" Gemma asks from beside Piney at the bar as I head for the hallway. I flash her a reassuring smile as Happy steps to my side. 

"Of course." Happy and I make our way down the hall to the apartment and when the door is shut behind us I take a seat in the chair by the desk as Happy watches me. 

"I've had a long day. If you don't just say it, whatever it is, I'm going to lose my mind." His arms cross over his chest and there's scowl on his face. 

"I don't want to make you mad." Happy steps over and sits on the edge of the bed across from me. 

"Only way you'd set me off is if you were leavin' me." He let's out a breath. "Are you leavin' me, Victoria?"

"Of course not." I scoot the rolling chair over close enough so I can take his hands in mine as a bit of relief starts to creep onto his face. I hadn't realized where his mind had wandered and now I feel even worse about all of this. "Why would your mind immediately go to that?"

"All the shit we talked about. Didn't know if it was all too much."

"You're a fool if you think your past could scare me away." Something changes in his expression and I can see that he's tired. The Sons are usually up as soon as first light peeks through the clouds, and I can't help but wonder if the long days take their toll on the rest of them. Maybe they just don't show it on the outside. 

"Had a fuck of a day." Happy mumbles out while looking down at our hands intertwined. "Kozik's a fuckin' idiot. I don't think I could hear it from you after that." I lean up close and press a kiss to his lips. 

"What did Koz do?"

"Let some punk ass kids steal a crate of guns right from under his nose. Spent all afternoon searchin' the streets of Bakersfield for them."

"You tired?" His head nods up and down but he says nothing for a few seconds. "Shits gettin' deep with the club." Happy hangs his head and my eyebrows scrunch. 

"What does that mean?"

"Been out less than a week and we're takin' on more water than this boat can hold." The words give me nothing to go on, but I can tell whatever it is it's a lot for him to handle. 

"Tell me." I mimic his words from earlier and he lets out a sarcastic snort. 

"You ain't said shit, baby girl. What makes you think I'm going to?" My eyes roll involuntarily at his stubbornness. 

"You first." There's a long pause as he gathers his thoughts. 

"Jax and Clay think the club should move into drug running." My heart rate picks up a little. "Upside being money. A lot of it. You could quit that job you know I hate and we could be comfortable."

"I like my job." I raise a finger to reiterate my point. 

"Downside is pretty obvious." Happy ignores my statement. "More risk. Higher stakes if we got caught. Not real sure which way to jump on this one."

"Do you think they'd lead you astray, Clay and Jax?"

"I trust Jax and he's backin' Clay, but something doesn't seem right." I brush my fingers against his cheek and he looks up at me. "You gonna think less of me if I'm involved in some Pablo Escobar shit?" That pulls a smile from me and I lean in to claim his lips. 

"As long as you come home to me at the end of the day, whole, I couldn't think badly." Happy's head nods up and down. "Cameron hasn't let this go." I whisper while breaking eye contact with his brown orbs. I figure it's my time to fess up after Happy being so blatantly honest about drugs. "He waited for Jacquelyn outside her office yesterday. She was concerned." His expression darkens once again and the conflicted, tired Happy is gone.

"That's what you waited to tell me?" He snaps.

"I didn't want to make you mad." I scoot back in the chair as I watch the heat creep up his neck. 

"You waited three days to mention it?"

"I assumed Chibs had filled you in, I'm sorry."

"Chibs told me about him stopping by the clubhouse months ago. Not that he's still hanging around now." I close my mouth and stare at him, not knowing where to go from here to keep from setting him off. "You should've mentioned it the day I got out."

"I didn't want to spoil the day." My shoulders shrug as guilt settles in the pit of my stomach. I should have told him sooner, but I hadn't heard or seen Cameron in what felt like forever. He hadn't even been on my radar as I'd been building a life here. 

"If he hasn't let this go by now, he's not planning to anytime soon." Happy runs his hands over his face before locking me in his intense stare. "Desperate men make reckless decisions." The words come out eerily calm and that worries me. 

"I hope you're referring to Cameron." A snide smirk pulls at his lips as he shakes his head. 

"Do I have a reason to be desperate?" 

"No. If he comes looking for me I'll deal with him myself this time."

"You won't, because I'm the one who's going to be looking for him." We are interrupted by a knock on the door and it swings open to reveal Juice. 

"Sorry to interrupt, but Clay wants to vote on the deal now." Happy's chest rises and falls in a deep sigh as he looks from the Son to me. 

"We'll finish this later." He tells me while standing from his spot as Juice exits when he realizes there's tension in the room. Before he gets a step away I reach out for his hand. Happy hesitates before slowly turning to face me. 

"Don't be upset with me. I wasn't intentionally keeping things from you." Happy leans down to rest his free hand on my cheek before pressing his lips to the top of my head. 

"I know." His voice vibrates against my skin before he pulls himself away and leaves the room.


	12. Cage

"You okay?" I ask Gemma as I step into the TM office, knocking twice on the frame to keep from startling her. I'd decided to check in on her after the conversation with Happy before heading to the station for my evening shift. She's been quiet most of the afternoon and that's not like Gem. 

"Yeah, baby." She let's out a long sigh and sits back in the desk chair. I can see the weight of the world resting on her shoulders as she stares off at the window that leads to the garage. The matriarch is so much like her son when it comes to thoughts on the brain. It shows in both of their bodies, neither of them able to hide their feelings. 

"Doesn't seem like that's true." I scrunch my eyebrows as I step further into the room and take a seat across the desk from her. 

"I just worry about our boys." Gemma motions outside where the lot lays empty after the Sons had taken off after chapel. 

"You and me both." She glances at me with those intensely dark eyes.

"Hap honest with you about club shit?"

"As honest as I want him to be." My shoulders rise and fall in a half hearted shrug. "I try not to ask too much. I know he wants to keep me out of it."

"Doesn't work like that, sweetheart. You either know it all, or nothing. Any other way causes problems." I think over her words. The longer Happy is out, the more he fills me in. The thought of keeping secrets from each other bothers me, but I know with time he'll open up. Cameron and I had been so far away from honest about our lives, that to me honesty feels like the right thing. 

"Does Clay tell you everything?"

"He use to." She pulls a pack of cigarettes from the desk drawer and motions towards me. "You mind?" She asks without waiting for my response to light one. 

"Not at all."

"Hap let you in on the club's newest endeavor?" It's not like Gemma to be loose lipped about the club, and she's always preached that it's an old man's choice to fill his woman in on what happens behind the chapel doors. She told me the honesty you need to survive comes with time. Trust isn't given around here, it's earned by putting in the miles. You have to be iron strong under any kind of scrutiny. The fact that she's confiding in me now tells me something is bothering her deep down. 

"Some of it. I'm sure he left out some of the details."

"Drugs aren't us." She takes another drag. "They're dirty. They wreck families, turn cities to shit." Gemma let's out a long exhale of smoke. "I can't figure out why Clay's allowin' the club to get in bed with the cartel. Or why Jackson is backing him. I can't wrap my head around it."

"Maybe they see something we don't. Maybe there's more to it."

"Only thing Clay is seeing is green and that's a dangerous web. When the only good you're doing is lining your pocket, you've veered far from the course." Her words cause me to stew over everything Happy had said and the way he had said it. There was doubt in his eyes when he spoke of the deal. 

"Happy didn't seem too keen on it. He seemed conflicted."

"He's honest to his core, that man." A soft smile pulls at her lips as she stubs out the smoke in the ash tray on the desk. "Not much to worry about with a man like him."

"Isn't everyone capable of deceit?" Gemma shakes her head no as she looks up at me. 

"Men with a conscious deep down, like Hap, they don't lie about the shit that matters. His demons are out there for the whole world to see, hence the reputation." Thoughts swirl around in my brain. The conversation with Jacquelyn eats away at me. What secrets could he be keeping, if any at all? "Whats wrong, sweetheart?" I pull myself out of the spiral, not realizing I'd gone silent long enough for her to notice. 

"Do you know that blonde that hangs around lately, Brandy?"

"Yeah, I've seen her a few times. Why?"

"She's from Tacoma. At the wedding, she confronted me. Said she wanted to talk to me about Happy's secrets. Then at the party last night she got into it with him." Gemma scoffs and rolls her eyes. 

"Just another sweet butt, love. I'm sure the only secret she has to tell was concocted to steal the title you earned." I let her words sink in and they make me feel a little better, but not much. "They do that. They about drive me up a wall, but the guys like having them around."

"Hap said she wasn't though. Apparently they had a thing in Washington but he swore it wasn't serious."

"Then you should listen to him." I try to take her words to heart, but find it difficult. 

"She said there was a kid involved." That pulls Gemma's attention. 

"Would that change your feelings for him, make you love him any less?" Her perfectly shaped eyebrow arches. 

"I don't think it would."

"Then what's it really matter?" I start to stand from the chair as I realize she's right. What would it matter to me if he had a kid from a past relationship? Yes, the lie would hurt, but the reality is that these feelings I have for him are more than surface deep. 

"You're right, Gem. I've got to head to work, Lyla should be here any minute. Thanks for talking me down." She stands from her chair and reaches to pull me into a hug while pressing her lips to my cheek. 

"Love you, sweetheart." 

"Love you too."

___

As I step from the passenger seat of Lyla's car onto the sidewalk outside the station, I turn to flash the blonde a wave. She honks the horn in a goodbye before zooming off down the street.

I make my way up the steps and to the door but as I'm about to reach for the handle it flies open with too much force, almost knocking me off my feet.

"What the—" I call out before realizing who had almost taken me out just as I catch myself. "Juice." I place a hand over my heart as a smile forms. Juice eyes me, his face red. "You scared me."

"Shit." He mumbles out as he looks from me back the way he came. "Sorry, Victoria. I wasn't paying attention." 

"You okay?" I ask as I take in the body language he's giving off. He seems flustered, stressed, which is not like the usual goofy Son. His hands clench and unclench at his sides. 

"Fine." I raise a brow and take a step closer, reaching to rest my hand on his arm. 

"You sure? What are you doing here, anyway?" He pulls away from me and a defensive look forms on his face. 

"Piss test. I'm on parole, remember?" He snaps. 

"Hey." I put my hands up in defense. "I was just asking." Juice starts to back away towards the steps while shaking his head. 

"I know, sorry. Kind of a fucked up day. I'll see you at the clubhouse." He shoves his hands into his pockets and turns his back to me while taking the steps two at a time. 

"Hey, Juice!" I call after him, concern filling my chest as I watch him go. The Puerto Rican spins around as he reaches the sidewalk. 

"Yeah?"

"You sure you're alright?" The hesitation gets to me, but he shakes his head yes after a moment, a lopsided smirk forming that doesn't quite meet his eyes. It's not lost on me. 

"Of course. You better get in there before you're late." He points at the police station. I glance down at the watch on my wrist and let out a huff. 

"See you." I flash him a wave while reaching for the door and breezing my way through the lobby, not able to get the look on Juice's face out of my head. 

A few other dispatchers sit in the quiet room and as I take a seat at my desk I pull a book from my purse. I'd slipped in a few minutes late unnoticed and reach for the headset to ready myself for calls. The fact that no one is currently taking any tells me it's going to be a quiet day so I flip to the marked page in my book and settle in for the next eight hours.

___

**HAPPY  
CHARMING, CA**

"How can I help you, sir?" The well-dressed man in a three piece suit greets as he hurries over, his hand outstretched awaiting a shake. He looks ridiculous in the formal attire. It's pushing ninety five degrees and he's dressed like he's going to a banquet. I can see the sweat beading down his face and my eyes roll beneath my shades. As he steps closer across the dealership parking lot I extend my own hand to shake his. "Ted Johnson. You in the market for a Jeep?" He motions towards the all white Wrangler I've been eyeballing for the last twenty minutes. 

"Not for me." I motion towards the Harley. "For my old lady." A chuckle leaves the man's chest but not so much as a hint of a smile comes from me. Instead, I pull the sunglasses from my face and tuck them into the neck of my shirt. 

"Old lady, huh. Haven't heard that in a while." The man seems to find my verbiage amusing, but I ignore it. "Pretty nice gift."

"She deserves it." I mumble out as I look over the vehicle. 

"Something like this, new, will cost ya about thirty-five grand." I can hear the doubt creep into his voice which irritates me more than the suit. "How much you looking to spend?" 

"As much as I have to." He fidgets under my stare when he realizes no humor will come from me. 

"Well, this ones a Limited model. It's got all the bells and whistles you could really want or need. She commute much?"

"Just to and from work. I don't like the rims." I cross my arms over my chest and stare. "I want chrome. Not that cheap aluminum shit."

"Oh sure, sure. We could replace those."

"Today. I want it waiting for her when she gets home." Ted hesitates before nodding his head, clearly feeling uncomfortable which is fine by me. 

"Of course. Let's just get you inside to run a credit check to see what we are looking at." I reach into the pocket inside my kutte and pull out a banded stack of money. Thanks to our new friends from Mexico, I can afford to give her the car she deserves instead of watching her hitch rides from whoever is available. 

"Not lookin' for a loan. I'll pay cash." Ted opens his mouth to say something but quickly closes it. 

"Even better." A fake smile forms on his lips. "I'll draw up the paperwork." He starts to walk away.

"Hey, I want one of this big oversized red bows, too. You know, like the ones you see on television."

"Of course."

___

**VICTORIA**

By the time I make it out to the entrance of the police station, my eyes and body are heavy with the need for sleep. It's just past four in the morning and I've never wanted anything more than my bed in this moment. As I push the glass doors open to step outside, I'm greeted by the sight of Happy leaning against his bike, a cigarette in one hand, his other stuffed in his pocket. 

"Hey, baby." I greet as I come down the steps with less pep in my step than usual. Happy drops the stick of nicotine to the ground and envelopes me in his arms as mine wind around his waist. I lean my weight against him and breathe in the scent that's Happy. The Charming streets are quiet at this hour and all I can hear is the sound of his heart against me. I feel him press a kiss to the top of my head as he lets go. 

"How was it?" He motions towards the building while turning to reach for his helmet before placing it on my head. I fasten the buckle and shrug my shoulders. 

"Always quiet in Charming." 

"You look tired." I can hear the irritation in his voice which causes me to roll my eyes. He's given up trying to talk me out of leaving dispatch so now he just makes subtle comments.

"I'm fine." Happy swings his leg over the bike and flips the switch to start the engine. A man of few words. I slip on behind him and wrap my arms around his torso as he speeds off down the street without another word. 

As we pull up to the house I'm drawn out of my sleepy haze by the shiny new SUV in the driveway. I feel confusion at first, but when I see the over the top red bow on the hood, excitement creeps in. I squeeze my arms tighter around Happy's waist and I can feel his back vibrate in a chuckle as he pulls into the driveway and cuts the engine. I rip the helmet from my head and hop off the bike before stepping over to the white Jeep in awe. When I turn back around Happy is standing by the Harley, his arms crossed over his chest with a soft smile on his lips. 

"You like it?"

"Baby, this is—" I search my brain for the right words. "It's so perfect, but it's too much." A frown starts to form as I reach out and run my palm over the white paint. 

"Nothing is too much for you." I hesitate as I stare at the gift, the very expensive gift, before realization slips to the forefront of my mind. 

"You don't have the key to the safety deposit box." I point out. All the money the club made while he was inside is in that box. "And only I have the bank card for the dispatch money." I turn back to look at him as he stands in silence with a knowing look on his face. "The club voted yes to drugs, right?"

"I voted no." I raise an eyebrow. 

"But it passed." Happy shakes his head yes as a sigh leaves my chest. The much taller man steps over and rests his hands on my hips. 

"It's temporary." His lips find my forehead and I relax against him. 

"Thank you for this." I rest my chin on his chest to look up at him as his fingers brush against my cheek. He leans down to claim my lips and as always everything else disappears. Any thoughts of the cartel wash away with his tight embrace and the feel of his tongue brushing against my bottom lip. 

When he releases me he rests his head against mine as a smirk forms. 

"You want to drive it?" He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a set of keys with a matching red bow, this one miniature. I can just picture him picking it out, completely out of his element with no idea which one to choose. 

"Of course." Any thoughts of sleep are far from my mind as I look back over my shoulder at the new car. Life had been tough without one of my own this last year, but I hadn't seen it as a necessary expense. I had enough friends here I didn't really need one, but now that it's right here in front of me I couldn't be happier. 

Happy places the set of keys in the palm of my hand before stepping to the hood to pull the giant red bow off. He tosses it into the yard before pulling open the passenger side door as I climb in the drivers seat. 

"Hate a fuckin' cage, but for you I'll suffer." Happy teases as I slip the key in the ignition. The butterscotch colored leather forms to my body perfectly and I breathe in the new car smell. 

"Aren't I lucky?" I joke as I put the car in drive. For the next hour we drive the silent streets of our town and for once, Happy doesn't seem so heavy. He laughs with me as we flip through the radio stations playing the worst kind of music and when he looks at me I see nothing but love in his eyes. 

As we come to a stop at a red light not far from our house, Happy leans across the center console and takes me by the back of the neck. He pulls me over to meet him in the middle and claims my lips in a steamy kiss that has me wanting more when he lets go. His eyes are dark as he watches me drive when the light turns green. One of his hands reaches over to rest on my thigh.

"It's late." I motion towards the time on the dash as a yawn creeps up my throat. 

"You have to work tomorrow?" I can feel him watching me as I watch the road. His hand slips further up my thigh as he applies pressure. 

"Just at the garage." I whisper as his fingers find the place my legs meet. His eyes burn holes in me as my stomach does a somersault as I try to focus on the road and not what his hands are doing. 

Happy's fingers travel further up where he pops the button on my jeans with ease. I reach down to swat at his hand and I can hear him chuckle while ignoring my protests. 

"I'm trying to drive." I breathe out as he slips his hand into my jeans and I grip the steering wheel hard enough to turn my knuckles white as his rough callouses make contact with the bundle of nerves. A shaky breath leaves my throat as my legs involuntarily shift to make it easier on him. His fingers rub tight circles that have me distracted and I want to stop the car but I also want to be home right now. 

"You want me, baby?" Happy breathes into my ear as he leans over and presses a kiss to my shoulder. His fingers slip lower to my entrance where he slips them in just enough to have my head spinning. "Pull over." 

"Hap—" I start to object but he runs his tongue over the sensitive skin of my earlobe before biting down hard enough to make me cry out. 

"Pull over." I do as he says, finding the first parking lot I can find and pray to god there's no cameras. Once the car is in park he reaches over to push my jeans down my legs as I lift my lower half to help him. Both of our movements are rushed and i pray the tinted windows are enough to keep any passerby's from seeing. 

I push the jacket off my shoulders as Happy hits the button on the electric seat to push it as far back as it will go while leaning up to claim my lips in a rough kiss. The lip lock is full of need as he unbuckles his belt first then the button on his jeans. He shimmies them down before grabbing the backs of my thighs to drag me into his lap. 

Happy wastes no time guiding his hard cock to my entrance and I bite on his bottom lip as he fills me up. A moan leaves his chest as I settle there for just a second before moving my hips up and down. He holds me close to him, allowing no space between the two of us. I wrap my arms around his neck as I bury my face in the leather of his kutte, my eyes squeezing closed as he thrusts up, hitting the perfect spot every time. 

I pull back, my hands reaching back to rest on his knees as I ride him and Happy leans his head on the headrest to watch. The look on his face fills me with desire as one of his hands reaches down to continue rubbing circles on my clit. Perspiration rises on my skin in the enclosed space but not even the heat could stop us now. 

Before long I'm a panting mess in his lap, my legs shaking as I'm tipped over the edge. I ride out the wave for as long as I can and while I'm still engulfed in pleasure, my eyes half open, Happy takes me by the throat, his eyes snapping shut as he cums. I lean forward and press my lips to his in a slow kiss. The fatigue I had felt before is back as I rest in his lap, his arms encircling me. 

"Maybe a cage ain't so bad." Happy mumbles against the top of my head and I can feel him laugh. I can hear the sleepiness in his own voice so instead of falling asleep right here like I want to, I lean up to search for my discarded underwear and jeans. Happy gets his own back on and motions for me to switch him spots while opening the passenger door to get out. "I'll drive." I slip back over out of the drivers seat and fasten the seatbelt while letting out s loud yawn. 

Happy climbs in and adjusts the mirrors and seat to his liking before heading in the direction of home. His hand reaches over for mine and I lace my fingers through his. When he looks over at me a tired smile forms as I replay what just happened. My chest swells and instead of saying what I'm feeling I press a soft kiss to his lips.


	13. Run

"You know what I think?" Jacquelyn mumbles out as she pops the rock candy stick from her mouth while flipping through a Harley magazine. Her legs are propped up over the edge of the chair and she looks anything but comfortable, but she seems content. Shes been keeping me company for the last hour while I work in peace.

"Do I even want to know?" I tease as I type away on the keyboard in the TM office. 

"I think we should go out." Her blue eyes perk up at me over the magazine. 

"As in?" I trail off, not exactly sure where this is headed. 

"Out, like drinking, dancing, letting loose." I raise a brow and pause my hands while staring at her. 

"You really think Koz and Hap are going to go for that?" Jacquelyn swings her legs down so her feet are on the floor before tossing the magazine on the desk. 

"Who says they have to know?" A laugh falls from my lips as I consider that possibility. 

"You know for a fact nothing gets past them." She stomps her foot once in a childish pout as a silly smirk forms. 

"I want to have some fun. The office is killing me and it's the weekend for Christ's sake." I roll my eyes and continue what I was doing, knowing full well what she's considering wouldn't fly. The Sons don't do 'going out' and old lady's tearing up the town without them is frowned upon. "Me, you, Lyla, and Tar. It'd be fun, come on, you know it would."

"It sounds great, Jac. I want to, but you know the answer."

"Ever since you moved here I never get to see you. It's like when you were with Cam all over again." My blonde friend turns serious which isn't like her. "Sure when I'm with Koz you're around, but I just want a fun night with my girls. Just once." I think over the possibility and look out the office window where the lot lays empty aside from the few cars that had come in today for repairs. 

"And what if the boys say no?" 

"Then we use the powers god gave us to convince them otherwise." She flashes a wink. 

"You're going to get us into trouble."

"Maybe that's what we need every once in a while." She shrugs her shoulders while pulling out her cell phone. "I can get Koz to sign off, but Hap and Jax might be a problem." I flip my own phone open to see a text from Happy. It's a short and simple checking in text, not much more than that and I decide to leave him on read while I talk with Tara and Lyla. 

"If they say no, Jac, it's no." My tone is firm because I know her. She persists until she gets what she wants. "You talk to Koz and I'll try to sweet talk Happy, but no promises." Jac claps her hands and stands from her spot. 

"I'm going to stop over at Lyla's. I know Opie will be cool with it." She pauses before leaving. "Hap going on that run to Arizona?"

"No, he's riding up to Tacoma. I guess Clay needs an errand, something to do with the Irish. What about your boo?"

"I haven't talked to him about it but if Hap's going north I'd bet Koz is riding along. It's going to be quiet around here."

"Thank god for that." I tease as she blows me a kiss. I wave her off as she grabs her purse before heading out the door.

Hours pass with just the sounds of the mechanics tinkering around mixed with the rock music from the stereo keeping them company. Once I'm finished with the paperwork I make my way into the clubhouse where a few of the guys have started to trickle in from an afternoon doing business. 

Chibs sits at the bar, today's newspaper spread out in front of him. His eyes don't stray from the words as I enter and make my way around to the opposite side of the bar. 

"When you leaving?" I ask as I reach for two fresh beers and pop the tops with the opener hanging from a chord. I slide one over to him while taking a sip of the other. 

"Thanks, love." He takes a pull and looks up at me through his reading glasses. "We'll be out of here at first light."

"Well, don't get in to too much trouble." I tease while reaching to clink my bottle to his. A mischievous smirk pulls at his lips. 

"Trouble is my middle name, darlin'." 

"Don't I know it." I come back around the bar just as the rest of the Sons make their way in and Happy flashes me a warm smile as he comes over and envelopes me in a hug. His lips find the top of my head before pulling away to grab his own beer. He seems much more lively than the last few days. 

"What's got you all chipper?" I ask before taking a long pull of Corona.

"Hap lives for the long runs." Jax answers with a lopsided smile as he claps Happy on the back.

"Hm, more than he lives for being in my bed at night?" A laugh leaves my lips along with the words and Jax raises his eyebrows at his brother. 

"She's got ya there." Chibs calls out while folding up the newspaper and standing from the bar stool. 

"I'll stay home, sweetheart." Tig drapes an arm over my shoulders. "I'll keep your bed warm while he’s gone." Happy eyes Tig with amused irritation. 

"And I'd give you a nice smiley face of your own." Happy calls out. "Right on your dick, with my knife." Happy pulls his knife out of its sheath and runs the blade along his thumb with a malicious grin. 

"Alright, alright." Tig removes himself and takes a few steps back. "Touchy subject, I get it." The boys joke around as I roll my eyes. Happy comes over and slips his arms around my waist. 

"You leaving in the morning, too?" I run my hands up his arms and around his neck. 

"Seems that way." The warm look on his face makes my chest squeeze. My hand reaches up to brush over his cheek but I hold back so as not to embarrass him in front of his brothers.

"I'll save the lovey dovey for later." I tell him with a smile and he chuckles before stealing a quick kiss. Happy releases me and reaches for his own beer before taking a seat on the edge of the pool table. 

The guys talk amongst themselves but Happy's eyes stay on me as I stand at his side, a bit of silly banter going on between me and Chibs. As Chibs cracks another joke about Latin love and Tig, I can't stop the joy from spreading across my face. The guys all seem lighthearted and I know it's because they get to go on a long run for the first time since being locked up. I enjoy seeing them happy. 

"Who's better company, Vic. Chibs or Hap?" Tig calls out while taking a swig of his whiskey. 

"That's not fair." I accuse with a giggle while looking up to see Happy doing his best to contain a smile of his own. There's a look on his face I don't get to see much, one where he's not so wrapped up in club issues and can be himself. 

"Ay, you have to answer the question!" Chibs warns and everyone's eyes land on me. I turn to Happy and stick out my lower lip in a playful pout. 

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm going to have to say Chibs." Happy feigns offense and steps away from me, his head nodding up and down. 

"Okay, okay." Happy sets his drink down and dips down to latch his arms around my thighs before throwing me over his shoulder. My beer shatters to the ground and Happy spins me around in a circle, all of the blood rushing to my head in this new upside down position. "Is he better now?" Happy teases while bouncing his knees while I try to find some stability. 

"No!" I squeal out. 

"Don't be a sore loser, brother!" Chibs taunts. Happy's hand smacks my ass hard enough to sting and from this position I can see the guys laughing at my expense once again. I hold out my middle finger and I wish they could see my eye roll geared towards them as Happy squeezes my thighs. 

Once I'm back on solid ground I shove him in the chest hard enough he stumbles backwards a little which fills me with some satisfaction. The guys go back to their own conversation as I reach for the broom to clean up the broken glass. 

"Croweaters can get that." Happy mumbles out to me while resuming his spot on the edge of the pool table. 

"It's okay, Ive got it." I continue what I was doing before remembering the conversation with Jacquelyn. Now seems as good as any to ask about the night out considering the unusual good mood. "Listen, I want to ask you something but I need you to consider it before shutting it down." When I look up at Happy his eyes have narrowed. 

"I don't like the way that sounds." His arms cross over his chest. 

"It's nothing bad. I was talking with Jac and you know what she really wants?" Happy's eyebrow arches in a silent question. "To have a night out. Me, her, Tara, and Lyla." His head starts to shake but I hold out a hand to rest on his forearm. "Don't just say no."

"I don't need to think about it. The answer is no." 

"You're serious?" I scrunch my eyebrows and rest my hands on top of the broom handle. "Just like that?"

"We're leaving." He motions towards the other Sons still milling about the clubhouse. "There won't be anyone to watch over you. You want to party, have one here. The clubhouse is all yours."

"So if Jax, Koz, and Opie are okay with it, you expect me to sit at home alone?"

"It's not going to happen." The tone of his voice tells me he's done talking about it, but even though I told Jac no is no, his attitude is getting under my skin. Without another word, good mood soiled, I set the broom aside and reach for my purse on the bar. 

"Where you goin', baby girl?" Tig asks when he sees the expression on my face. 

"Home." I flash him a smile before leaning up to kiss his cheek. "Have a safe trip, if I don't see you again." Happy watches me as I wave at the Sons and head out the door over to the new car he'd gifted me with late last night. 

"Victoria." I hear Happy call out as I reach for the handle to swing the door open. When I turn around he's coming this way and I let out a huff while setting my purse on the seat. 

"You made your decision clear. I have nothing left to say about it."

"Don't act like a child who didn't get their way." He growls out at me while reaching for the car door to slam it shut. He cages me between the vehicle and his body.

"Says the one putting their foot down like an angry parent." I cross my arms over my chest and look everywhere but at him. Sometimes it's hard for me to accept the freedoms I use to have living in Tacoma are not mine anymore. There's rules here. Rules to be a good old lady, rules to stay safe, not all of them I agree with, but all of them are necessary. 

"You know I'm not saying no just because I don't want you to have a good time." 

"I know." I mumble out, accepting defeat. 

"I like this fire." Happy teases while reaching for my hands. He pulls them up around his neck and leans against me, forcing my back against the Jeep. "Prison stint did you good. You learned to stand up for yourself." His lips press against my own and it's impossible to hold a grudge when he feels this good. 

"I think that's more from Gemma's influence." 

"Well, thank god for that." He jokes. "You over it?" His lips brush against my earlobe and I shiver. 

"I wish you'd reconsider." My fingers dance along the back of his neck before running down his chest underneath his kutte. "Please?" I press my lips against his jaw and nip the sensitive skin with my teeth. Happy's head snaps back and he stares down at me with those intense orbs. I give up no ground and stare back, willing him to say yes.

"How about this," His fingers lace through mine down at our sides. "When we get back, I'll take you out. Wherever you want to go, and if Kozik and the rest want to tag along, we'll all go, okay?" I think over the compromise, knowing it's the best offer I'm going to get. 

"Fine." I huff. 

"Don't act like you're mad at me, baby girl. We both know it won't last." There's a teasing tone to his voice as he places a kiss on my lips and steps back to create some space between us. 

"So, Tacoma huh?" I raise a brow at him as he nods his head. "You planning on settling any scores while you're there?" 

"If you're asking if I'm going to have a sit down with our good friend, Cameron, I was planning on it." I think over his words not really knowing how to feel about it. 

"And if he turns violent?"

"I don't back down from a fight, baby girl. If he wants one he can have one, but if he's smart he'll listen to me." I can see by the look on his face that he'd love for something to go down but I hope it doesn't it come to that. 

"Don't do anything stupid. I don't want to have to come bail you out of jail." Happy takes my jaw in his hands and presses a kiss to my lips. 

"I'm never getting locked in a cage, again. I promise."

"I'm going to head home, for real this time." Happy reaches over to open the drivers side door for me as I climb in. 

"I'll be home in a couple hours." He reaches over to squeeze my thigh before shutting the door as I roll down the windows. 

"I'll probably be asleep." I glance down at the time and see it's only six in the afternoon. "I'm tired after last night." Happy nods his head. 

"I'll try not to wake you up."

"You can if you want to." I flash him a suggestive wink while laughing. 

"In that case—" Happy trails off as I lean over the door to steal one last kiss. 

"See ya, baby."


	14. French Toast

Morning comes all too soon, and I'm woken by the sound of Happy opening and closing dresser drawers not far from where I'm laying. When I peel my eyes open I see him rifling through his clothes and throwing random articles into a duffel bag. 

"Didn't your mom teach you how to pack?" I mumble out as I sit up, goosebumps raising on my skin at the chill outside the covers. Happy's head slowly turns and he smirks. 

"Nah, nothing worth keeping straight in this bag." I hold my arms out for him and he comes over, his body towering over mine as he leans down to press a kiss to my lips. 

"Don't have too much fun with the crow eaters in Tacoma." I tease and a chuckle leaves his chest. 

"Hush." Happy mumbles against my lips before brushing my hair out of my face. "I don't want any of that. I've got something better to come home to." There's a warm expression there and it makes my chest swell. He turns back to what he'd been doing, leaving me to climb out of bed and reach for my fluffy robe. The thought of him being surrounded by all those new and exciting women has been pulling at my mind, but part of me knows Happy is loyal. 

"Swear?" I glance over my shoulder as I put on the robe and step over to the closer.

"Been there, done all that. I'm not interested." I roll my eyes at his stubborn tone while I drag out one of his favorite sweatshirt, grey with his patch logo on the front, once I notice he only has a t-shirt on.

"Here." I toss it to him and he smirks. 

"You lookin' after me?" He comes closer with the sweatshirt draped over his shoulder before taking my hips and stealing a long kiss. 

"I'm trying to." I tease, my fingers reaching to brush over his stubbled cheek. "Did you eat? I'll make you some French toast."

"I'm good. I'll eat on the road." I turn back to look at him, my eyebrow cocking. 

"Okay, I'll get to cooking." I ignore his statement and I hear him let out another chuckle as I make my way down the hallway into the kitchen where I find Kozik sprawled on the couch, an elbow over his face, fully dressed except shoes. I walk over and grab a pillow before thumping him in the stomach with it. Kozik snaps awake and looks around, his expression full of confusion. 

"Why are you sleeping on my couch?" I ask as I make my way back over to the refrigerator. "Don't you have a perfectly good bed to lay in?" The blonde sits up and rubs his face before turning to me. 

"Jac didn't want me to wake her up. Said she needed her sleep and she'd see me when I got back." Sounds just like my best friend, choosing sleeping in late over her boyfriend who will be gone for a few days. 

"You hungry?" Koz nods his head as he wanders over to grab his boots from the entry way. 

"Im always hungry." A yawn leaves my lips as I pull a few ingredients from the refrigerator and place a pan on the stove. 

"Can I trust you to look after him?" I point back down the hallway where I had just come from and Koz let's out a snort. "I just got him back. You better not let anything happen to him or I'll beat your ass myself." I tease. 

"Promise?" Kozik wiggles his eyebrows. 

"I'm serious." I crack a few eggs into the heating pan and turn to face him with my hand on my hip. "I'm not stupid. I know what the two of you plan on doing while you're in Tacoma." Kozik stands from the couch, his boots now laced on his feet, and comes over before placing his hands on my shoulders. 

"You have my word." His face turns surprisingly serious for his normally goofy personality. "I wouldn't let anything touch him. You know that." I stare into his kind face for a moment longer until my concerns have faded and then he steps away to open the fridge. He pulls out a bottled water and chugs half in the first go. 

We are interrupted by the sound of bare feet on the hardwood and Jacquelyn comes around the corner, her hair a wild mess and her eyes puffy. She's wearing nothing more than a pair of boy shorts and an oversized sweatshirt I can only assume belongs to Kozik. 

"Could you guys be any louder?" She groans out as Kozik makes his way over to her and places a kiss to her forehead. 

"Sorry, baby." He mumbles against her skin. 

"French toast?" Jacquelyn asks me with sudden interest on her face as she comes closer. "I'm starving." 

"It'll be ready in a bit." A moment later Happy makes his way down the hallway, tossing his duffle next to the door, before slipping into his boots. 

"Instead of making sure I look after your old man, we should be asking who's going to keep you two out of trouble." Kozik grabs a toothpick from the bowl on the counter and pops it into his mouth while throwing accusing looks at me and my best friend. Jacquelyn throws her hands in the air in defense before plopping down into one of the wooden chairs at the table. 

"You have our word." Jac swears, less than enthused. Happy crosses his arms over his chest, a look on his face that tells me he's not convinced as he exchanges looks with Kozik. 

"Gemma knows you two will be here on your own. She'll be checking in on you." Happy tells the both of us. There's a warning in his tone.

"We will be fine." I stress as I make my way over and slip my arms around his waist while looking up at him. Happy shakes his head before placing a kiss on my forehead. 

"Why am I still not convinced?" His gaze flickers over my shoulder where Kozik has taken a seat next to Jacquelyn. Happy takes my face in his hands and his expression turns serious. "I'm not playing around, baby girl." His tone is firm. "No risks." I nod as his thumb brushes over my bottom lip before he presses his to mine.

"I swear." I mumble quiet enough so the other two can't hear. "Now, let me finish this breakfast so you guys can get out of here." I pull myself from his trip and make my way back over to the stove.

___

Jacquelyn sits on the couch with the television turned down just enough to where it's a comfortable background noise. Her blue eyes are trained on the screen of her phone as she goes over work emails while I work on cleaning the kitchen. Kozik and Happy has left a few hours prior and since then we've been going about our morning in a comfortable silence much like most days when we are alone in the house. 

"I figured we could get an early dinner tomorrow and then hit a few bars and see where the night takes us." Jacquelyn tells me without looking up. 

"I'm sorry, I thought I heard you wrong." I toss the towel down and place a hand on my hip. She looks up with an innocent expression and shrugs. "Jacquelyn." I scold. 

"If you think I'm going to waste away the weekend just because Koz agreed with Hap, you're wrong." She tosses her phone down on the couch beside her and turns to the side so she can look at me. 

"I promised Happy I wouldn't and I don't plan on breaking it." 

"So, they can go out and have fun but we can't?"

"They're not out having fun, Jac. They are going to Tacoma for club business." My tone is even more serious now that I see she's dead set on going against Kozik's final answer. Jacquelyn has bounced around so much between Washington and here she hasn't fully grasped the ways of the club. Her defiance might be okay with Kozik, in fact he loves that she's wild, but involving others is a good way to get yourself into trouble, especially since Gemma knows. 

"It's just drinks, Tori. How much trouble could we possible get in?" 

"It's not about trouble. It's about not breaking your word." I turn back to what I was doing and she lets out a huff of frustration. 

"You aren't going, then?" I hear her stand from the couch and I throw her a look over my shoulder. 

"No, I'm sorry." A moment later I hear her bedroom door shut so I go about my morning routine until Gemma sends a text letting me know she needs me at TM .

An hour later after a quick shower I make my way into the auto shop office, my damp hair twisted into a tight bun on my head. Gemma glances over as I make my way inside and just by the look on her face I can tell it's one of those days. 

"Hey, baby." She draws out as she types away on the keyboard. "I've got to get out and run some errands so if you could watch the office for me I'd appreciate it." 

"Of course." I tell her as I toss my purse and keys down on the desk. 

"It'll be a quiet day with all the guys gone, but we've got a few customers coming to pick up." She slides a folder over with a few invoices inside. "If anyone stops by to drop off, just let them know it might be a day or two." Gemma stands and comes over to give me a quick hug before turning for the door, but she stops. "Hey, you talked to Tara?" 

"Not today, why?" a look ghosts over her face but as soon as it's there it disappears. 

"No reason. I'll see you this afternoon." And with that she's gone. 

As Gemma had warned, the shop is quiet for much of my time and I find myself bored as can be as I stare at the computer screen. I had finished up most of the work she had put off, either too busy or just fell behind, an hour ago. The mechanics in the bay keep to themselves and I'm close to setting up shop in there just for someone to talk to when my phone starts buzzing on the desk. Blocked caller, so it must be Happy. 

"Hey, you." I greet with a smile. They must've stopped for a rest. 

_"What are you doing?_ " He questions and I can hear the sound of traffic in the background. 

"Watching the office for Gem while she steps out. How far did you make it?" 

_"We're about an hour south of Red Bluff._ " I hear Kozik call out for Happy's attention from somewhere faraway. _"Hold on, babe."_ I can hear them exchange words, but with the background noise plus the not-so-great reception on his end, I can't make out anything concrete. 

"Everything okay?" I ask, but get no response right away. 

_"Victoria."_ When Happy returns his attention to me, his tone is sharp. _"If you go out tomorrow night there will be hell to pay when I get back._ " My stomach turns at the mention of Jacquelyn's 'secret' plans. 

"What are you talking about?" 

_"Kozik just informed me that Jac is making plans. Supposedly, the two of you have a night out planned even though you swore to me that wasn't going to be the case."_ I can hear him let out a long exhale. "Tell me the truth right now." 

"She asked me, Happy, but I said no." 

_"Are you lying to me?"_ I can tell he's trying to keep his voice low, like he doesn't want anyone overhearing our conversation. 

"I wouldn't lie to your face, you know me better than that." He seems to think that over before responding. 

_"When Kozik told me what your friend said, I saw red. I'm sorry, sweetheart."_ Another exhale. _"I've got to go, but I'll call when we stop for the night."_

"Okay, ride safe."

___

I'm irritable as I step inside the house after a long, very dull afternoon at the shop. Gemma hadn't returned until nearly closing time and she had barely said two words to me as she'd rushed back in. Jacquelyn sits on the floor in front of the couch, her lap top set up on the coffee table as she types away. 

"Anything you want to tell me?" I question her as I throw my purse down on the kitchen counter. 

"Hmm?" She turns to look at me with a raised eyebrow. 

"You told Kozik about your grand plans for tomorrow?" I cross my arms over my chest. 

"Oh, yeah."

"Why did you tell him I was going when I told you no?" 

"There's still time for you to change your mind. I told you, it's just a few drinks, nothing to get upset over." Just by her nonchalant attitude, it's obvious she doesn't understand why that gets under my skin. 

"I'm going to bed." I huff while heading down the hallway without another look back.


	15. Panic

The next morning and afternoon come and go with nothing more than the sound of the television as background noise. Jacquelyn and I move about the house, both of us silent and refusing to budge on either of our opinions. I thought maybe she would come to me, apologize for the choice she knows is wrong, but that has yet to happen. 

As the blonde steps from her bedroom, a pair of skin tight jeans with a black tank top on, I can see that nothing has changed since our tiff the previous evening. She gives me a side eye as she passes into the kitchen to grab up her purse and car keys. 

"Who's going with you?" I question without looking up from the rerun of Jerry Springer, forcing myself to be the bigger person like I always have had to be in our friendship. I hadn't really been watching the trash reality show, my mind has been elsewhere for the past few hours. 

"Lynette." 

"Since when are you hanging out with crow eaters?" I raise a brow as I finally drag my gaze over to her. She's facing me with a hand on her hip, her body language defensive. 

"Ever since you decided another man was going to make your decisions for you." The accusatory tone doesn't sit well with me. 

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" I snap back as I sit up straight. 

"You left Tacoma to get away from one controlling asshole just to jump into bed with another one." My mouth opens and closes, but no sound comes out. Hearing her say those words sends a flaming dagger through my chest. 

"I'm going to pretend like you didn't just accuse Happy of being like Cameron." The words are laced with venom, but that only causes her eyes to narrow. 

"What's the difference? You're once again not spending time with your supposed best friend because a man told you you couldn't. Sounds a lot like Cam to me." 

"That's what this is about? Your feelings are hurt because I'm not going with you." Jacquelyn shrugs while slipping the purse strap over her shoulder. 

"I've been by your side every minute I can be because I love you. You're my favorite person on the whole goddamn earth, so why am I always second best to the people you choose to be with?" 

"I'm not choosing anyone over you, Jacquelyn. I'm just not going out with you tonight. You could've stayed in. We could've watched movies like we use to, but you're hellbent on doing the opposite of what we were told!" I exclaim, but all she does is shake her head. 

"You don't get it."

"So, what am I suppose to tell Kozik when they call tonight? That you're safely tucked in bed? I'm not going to lie for you." She turns for the door, her shoulders squared and jaw set. 

"I'm my own person, Tori. I don't give a shit what you say to them." With that, she slams the door and I'm left reeling, not entirely sure how we went from a disagreement to a full on attack of character. My stomach turns as I realize how angry my dearest friend is and a part of me wants to run after her, apologize, but another part realizes how insane it is to be mad over a denied invitation.

Hours pass with me staring at the television screen. Episode after episode of who knows what flash across it, but I can't seem to get my head back on the right track. I can't stand fighting with Jacquelyn and even though she was so out of line, a nagging voice tells me there's something deeper here. There has to be an explanation for her outburst. I refuse to believe she would lose her mind on me over one simple night. 

It's nearing one in the morning by the time Happy finally calls and I'm grateful for the momentary distraction. 

"I'm home, safe and sound." I tease him, but there's no joy in my voice. 

_"I can hear that. Sure you aren't calling me from outside?"_ That earns an eye roll from me. 

"We got in a huge fight, Hap." My gaze falls to the blanket draped over my lap and I twist a loose piece of thread between my fingers. "She's so upset with me and I don't know why." 

_"She seems like the type who is use to getting her way, am I right?"_

"Yeah."

 _"Maybe she thought once you left Cameron, she could have you all to herself, but that's not fair baby._ " The rough tone of his voice is soothing and I wish more than anything he was headed home, but I know I still have days to wait for that. " _I want you to be happy. If going out every once in a while with your friends is what you want, I'll make it happen, but I hate to break it to you, it will be on my terms, my way."_

"Hap, I really don't care about any of that. All I care about is everyone in my life being good with each other." A sigh leaves my lips. 

_"You want me to talk to her when we get back? I'll make sure she knows I'm not trying to steal you away from her._ " I can hear the smile in his voice. " _Well, maybe I am a little bit."_

"Sorry for complaining." I mumble. "You make it to Tacoma okay?" 

_"Got here this morning. We were up before the sun which got us here ahead of schedule. We just got in to the Tacoma clubhouse a bit ago."_

"Hmm, why do I feel like that was intentional so you had some free time to get into trouble?" My thoughts move to Cameron. 

" _We stopped by the restaurant you said he owned."_

"And?" My heart picks up it's pace a little at the thought of Cameron and Happy coming face to face for the first time since the beginning. 

_"Supposedly, it's been under new ownership for quite some time now."_ My eyes almost bug out of my head. That restaurant was everything to Cameron. I can't imagine he would let it go quietly. " _No one that works there currently knows anything about his whereabouts, so that will be fun to figure out."_ Just as I go to respond, my phone vibrates with an incoming text. I pull it down to see Jacquelyn's contact name flashing. 

"Hold on, Jac just texted me." I tell Happy as I hit open.

_— need rid blue dog saloon_

An irritated exhale leaves my throat as I read her words. By 'rid' I'm assuming she needs a ride home because she's too drunk and her new friend Lynette must be incapable as well. 

_"What's up, babe?"_

"Now Jacquelyn needs a ride home." Happy is quiet for a moment as he thinks that one over. Without waiting on a response, I stand from the couch and slip my feet into a pair of sandals by the front door. 

_"You're going."_ He points out as a statement more than a question. 

"What choice do I have? I don't want her driving home and getting herself killed." I pull the phone from my ear once more and send a quick 'okay' as a response. 

_"It's late and you shouldn't be out alone."_ I can hear the stubbornness all over those words. 

"She needs me, Hap." He's quiet for a moment and I hear him exhale. 

_"Keep me on the phone._ " That earns an eye roll from me, but that's easy enough to do if it keeps him from worrying. I make my way out to the car with the phone tucked under my ear, dressed in a pair of Happy's sweatpants and a baggy shirt, in no way prepared to step foot in a bar so I hope Jacquelyn plans on meeting me in the parking lot. 

"Anything exciting happening at the clubhouse tonight?" I ask as I hop into the drivers seat of the Jeep before fishing out the headphones in the console. I slip those into the phone and my ears so I can drive hands free, plus it's easier to hear him over the sound of the engine. 

_"A few of the Tacoma guys are drinking, but that's about it. It's quiet up here since I left."_

We chat back and forth over the course of the quick drive to the Blue Dog Saloon and when I pull in, I see no sign of Jacquelyn. I find a place to park and send her a quick text letting her know I'm here. It doesn't take long before I see her blonde hair bobbing through the parking lot and just by her clunky steps and narrowed eyes, I know she's out of her mind drunk. 

_"You get her, yet?"_ Happy questions. 

"She's coming now. You want to get to sleep?" 

_"Nah, ill wait until you're home safe."_ A warm smile pulls at my lips at the consideration. Jacquelyn rips the door open and climbs in, her movements uncoordinated thanks to the alcohol and she almost falls back out onto the asphalt when she tries to close the door. 

"I'm sorry, Tori." She leans over the center console and rests her head on my shoulder. "I don't like to fight." Her words are slurred as her eyes flutter closed and I can hear the sound of Happy chuckling on the other end of the line. 

"It's okay, we can talk about it tomorrow." I tell her while giving her a quick squeeze. 

"Is that Hap?" She reaches for the headphone chord with a flailing hand. The smell of tequila fills the car and it makes my stomach turn. "Tell him I'm sorry for saying he's like, like Cameron." She slumps back over to her side of the car, her head resting against the window while her eyes close permanently this time. 

_"You didn't mention that part._ " Happy teases as I put the car in drive and head back towards home. " _I'm like your ex, huh?"_

"Not even a little bit." I reassure him. 

_"I fuck better than your ex, I know that for sure."_ My cheeks burn hot at his bold statement. I hadn't been expecting it and it sends my brain for a loop

"Hap," 

_"It's true."_ He chuckles. " _I can't wait to tell him to his face, too."_ I turn to look at Jac to make sure she's still alive and her chest rises and falls with heavy breaths. 

"Don't you dare." I threaten. 

_"You'll never know."_ The conversation stays lighthearted as I drive back towards the house and when I finally pull in the driveway, a sigh of relief leaves my chest. I really was ready for bed before I even left. 

"Made it home." I mumble out to Happy as I climb out of the car as Jacquelyn stirs. I manage to drag her out of the passenger seat as he arms wind around my neck, her weight heavy thanks to the alcohol induced stupor. 

_"I'm going to pass out, then. Call me in the morning?"_

"Of course." Jacquelyn manages to get her legs under her as we climb the steps and stumble our way in the door. I drop her onto the couch, but she clings to me. 

"Tori." She breathes out, a bit of panic in her words. "Tori, look."

"What?" I ask as I turn to look over my shoulder where her glassy gaze is focused. 

_"What is it?"_ Happy questions when he hears the tone of Jacquelyn's voice. I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end as my eyes lock on the dark figure leaning against the counter top. When they step forward out of the shadows, my heart leaps into my chest. _"Victoria, talk to me."_ Now it's Happy's turn to panic. My mouth opens to say something, but Jacquelyn beats me to the punch as she suddenly sobers enough to think straight. 

"Get the fuck out, you psychopath!" She screeches as she reaches for her purse where I know she keeps an inconspicuous handgun, but due to the alcohol her movements are sloppy and she drops it. 

_"Victoria!_ " I can hear voices now on the other line with the earbuds still firmly in place like he's left the quiet of his room and rejoined the rest of the MC in the clubhouse.

"Cameron." I release a sharp exhale as I say his name and his gaze snaps from Jacquelyn to me. The two of us hold each other's gaze and it's as if time has stopped for just a second. 

_"He's there?"_

"Yes." I whisper. The three of us freeze in the living room, Cameron just a few steps away as he looks from me to Jacquelyn and back again. 

The blonde can't seem to get her hands to cooperate as she fumbles with the snap of her purse and before I can even form a thought, Cameron is covering the distance. In one swift motion, he rips the headphones from my ears before turning to yank the purse off Jacquelyn's shoulder. She stumbles from the force and almost falls, but I hold onto her arm to keep her upright. 

"This all worked out so much better than I could've planned." Cameron's voice is eerily low as he opens Jacquelyn's purse and pulls out the gun. He toys with it for a moment before shoving it into the back of his pants. "Your boys get called off to Tacoma, thinking I'm back there because of the little conversation I had with your friend here." Cameron reaches out and brushes a hand over Jacquelyn's cheek, but she whips her head out of his reach. "Having Brandy here made sure I knew where everyone was every second." 

"What do you want?" I breathe out as my heart races out of my chest so hard I can feel it in my temples. 

"I know the rest of them are in Tucson." He ignores my question. "So, who's going to come running to your rescue?" My throat tightens as my rattled brain realizes the severity of those words. There's no one to call. "The closest Son is a days ride away."


	16. God

**HAPPY  
TACOMA, WA**

"I need Jax on the line, now." I bark at Kozik as I flip through numbers in my own phone while making my way into the barroom of the clubhouse. 

"What's up, brother?" Kozik's eyes are glassy and I'm assuming he's drunk as a skunk as his words slur while holding a Coors Lite in one hand.

"Cameron is at the house with Victoria and Jacquelyn. Dial the phone." Kozik's face goes white as he does as I say, meanwhile I send a text to one of Teller-Morrow's mechanics, Freddy, telling him I need him to call as soon as possible. My heart is racing in my chest, but I keep myself cool and collected on the outside. What I want to do is get on my bike and blast all the way back to Charming, but I know I'm too far away. I would never get there in time and that thought is eating away at me.

My head spins as I try to figure out what the smartest move is. A flight would get me back to Charming in less than two hours, but there's no way they'll let me on a plane on probation. 

For the first time in a long time, I feel fear. White, hot blinding fear that seeps it's way under my skin and latches itself around my insides. Fear isn't something I've felt since my childhood. I wrote that emotion off and sent it to the grave long before I found this life, but it's like an old hat in the back of the closet you forgot you had. It still fits and it makes me sick. 

I haven't had a face to face with Cameron since the beginning, back when I was the one slowly convincing his girl to leave him behind. I know what I would do to someone who hurt me that way and the thought makes my stomach turn. That kind of desperation will make a man do irrational things. 

"Jax is sending Tig and Bobby back early, but they're as far out as we are, man." Kozik seems to have sobered considerably and he's as in control as he can be. I know he's just as worried as I am. He has someone he loves in that house just like I do. After five minutes of waiting, Freddy's name pops up on the screen of my phone and I hit the answer button without wasting any time. 

_"What's up, brother?"_ His rugged voice is laced with sleep, but I couldn't care less if I've interrupted him. 

"I need you to get over to my house. We've got a situation." I can hear rustling on the other line, like he's getting out of bed and shuffling around in the dark. "Victoria and Jacquelyn are in trouble. You'll need to be carrying."

_"Who?"_

"Victoria's ex. I don't know what he's capable of, so be prepared for anything." Freddy grumbles out an 'okay.' "Where's Piney?" I know the old man isn't much use in the club these days with his health issues, but defending the people in his circle is the one thing he's still good at. I trust him with Victoria. 

_"Hospital, man. He collapsed in Tara's office earlier today."_

"No one thought to call us?" I snap out as I realize a member was in trouble and no one bothered to reach out. I feel anger creeping in to fill any space the fear might have missed. I feel out of control. 

_"Gemma said she would handle it."_

"Forget Piney, call Opie."

 _"Got it."_ By the time I hang up, Kozik and I have gained the attention of Lorca. He makes his way over with his eyebrows furrowed, his shoulders squared. 

"What's the problem?" He asks as he leans against the bar top, a beer in his hand. 

"I need a truck, something big enough to fit both of our bikes." I squeeze my fists to keep anyone from noticing the tick. 

"Why?" I run a hand over my head. 

"I have to get back to Charming. I don't have time for stops or sleep." Lorca realizes the severity of the situation and shoves his hands into his jean pockets without question. 

"Red Dodge in the lot. It should have a full tank." I take the keys without saying a word and storm back to my room with Kozik in tow. 

"I tried calling Jac's phone. It's off." Kozik tells me in a low voice as I start shoving clothes into the duffle. 

"No fucking surprise there. Let's go." Kozik makes a quick stop to grab his own bag and we are out the door and loading our bikes into the back with the help of some of the Tacoma guys. I know we are too far away. Even with a cage, I know I have to trust in Opie and Freddy. They are the only people around that can do anything at all. 

I've never been one for prayer, but on that long drive, I talk to God more than I do Kozik. Maybe it's not the God the religious zealots preach about, but I ask for the safety of my girl from whoever might be listening.

___

**VICTORIA  
CHARMING, CA**

My head hurts. My eyes feel puffy, not normal. It's hard to open them, hard to take a deep breath. The taste of copper is heavy on my tongue and as I investigate further, I feel a gouge taken out, like I had bit down on it. I'm in my bed, I recognize the cool sheets and the smell of Happy on the pillow. What's unusual is all the pain and the figure laying on the other side of the bed, their back to me. 

I try to touch my face, but my arms won't obey. The room is dark, not even the hallway light is on to illuminate my current situation. I want to scream, but my voice doesn't feel like mine. It feels faraway, small, buried in my chest. I tip my head to get a better look and see my wrists bound by a belt. One of Happy's. The reaper on the buckle glares down at me, almost mockingly so. When I risk a look down, shifting my legs that feel robotic and mechanical, so the sheet drops away, dread fills my stomach. The sweatpants I had been wearing are gone, the shirt, too. I'm naked aside from the sports bra on my top half. I feel nauseas. I feel pain everywhere. 

The bed shifts and dips as Cameron turns on his back. He stares at the ceiling for a moment, a heavy sigh leaving his chest before he turns again to face me. One hand reaches out to brush over my cheek. It's clammy with too much pressure behind it. The fingers dig into my jaw as he forces me to look him in the eyes. The swift motion causes my vision to darken around the edges, like I could pass out at any second. 

"Where's Jacquelyn?" I whisper, my voice hoarse and foreign. How long have I been like this? It feels like hours, but it can't have been that long. The sun would've been coming up by now if it had. 

"I tried really hard to let this go." His voice sends a chill down my spine as he ignore my question. His face is so eerily calm, the brown eyes so familiar, yet like a stranger at the same time. I remember laying in bed beside this man, talking about the future like it was set in stone. I loved him so much, once. "But I lost the restaurant. I lost the apartment. I lost everything." 

"Cameron, where's Jac?" I try again, but that seems to only irritate him. He sits up and leans over me, taking my face in his grip once more. I can feel my skin bruising under the force. 

"That bitch is the reason you left me." He seethes as he moves so his legs are on either side, caging me in. He smells like whiskey. It burns down my nostrils and chokes me. 

"No, she isn't. None of this was her fault." My eyes burn with tears as he leans further down and presses his lips to mine. It's aggressive and animalistic, it makes my stomach turn as his free hand wanders down to get a handful of my chest. I try to kick my legs, but they don't seem to be on the same page as my brain. I tug at the belt holding my arms hostage, but it's useless. The leather bites into the skin and I'm certain I'll have bruises there, too. Cameron pulls back, but nips at my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. A cry escapes my throat as I turn my head, but he just grabs my chin to force me back. 

"You destroyed me." He uses his knee to slide between my legs, forcing them open. The breath from the words ghosts over my face and the alcohol tinge makes my throat tighten. His hand holding my face slides down to grip me around the throat where he squeezes, soft at first, then harder. Panic blooms inside my chest as I kick and flail as the pressure deepens. The look in his eyes is wild as he watches. He stares down at me like a kid burning ants with a magnifying glass, curious and pleased with himself, like he's God. I gasp for air, my eyes the size of saucers, but no sound comes. The world starts to disappear around me as my vision starts to fade away. 

Finally, after what feels like the longest few seconds of my life where I fully believe I'm going to die here, he releases his hold. Tears stream down my cheeks as oxygen floods my lungs. I have no fight left and I barely feel like I'm holding on to consciousness. Cameron's gaze moves along with his hands, further down my body to the tops of my thighs. My chest squeezes almost painfully as I realizes what he plans to do, or what he may have already done while I was unconscious. I don't know what he did while I was out, but the foggy brain and inability to move my limbs properly tells me it has something to do with drugs. 

I turn my head to the side and try to focus on breathing as his hands burn my skin. I can hear the sound of his own belt unfastening and my chest constricts as I stare at the moon through the window. 

"That piece of trash you share a bed with took my life from me." Cameron's voice sounds faraway now, almost like I'm standing in the corner, my back to the scene as it unfolds. "So now I get to take everything from him." After he speaks those words, everything fades to black.

___

**HAPPY  
CHARMING, CA**

We pull into the driveway fast enough to send us through the wall of the house, but I slam on the brakes in the knick of time while Kozik catches himself on the dashboard with his hands to keep from flying through the windshield. The two of us jump out of the vehicle as fast as our legs will tolerate and we are at the door in what feels like a split second.

The drive had been unbearable. The two of us barely spoke and with our anger at the wheel instead of cool heads, we'd managed to cut the twelve hour drive into ten between the two of. I don't remember much of it, just the roar of the engine drowning out everything around us as I pushed the truck as fast as I could risk. We couldn't get arrested for reckless driving, but with the the one not behind the wheel taking on the responsibility of lookout for pigs, it'd been easy to set a pace of eighty-five. 

Opie's bike sits in the drive along with Freddy's old beat up truck, but I pay them no mind as I slam through the front door, almost taking it off the hinges in the process with Kozik hot on my heels. My blood runs hot when I see the scene in front of me. There's blood on the carpet, a lot of blood. In that second, I turn off everything that makes me human. I turn off the fear, bury it deep inside me and push on. 

There's no one in the living room or the kitchen. It's eerily quiet in here. As I go to take a step towards the hallway, Freddy steps from the bedroom I share with Victoria, making sure to close the door behind him before approaching us. 

"Where are they?" I snap while trying to step around the bulkier man, but he stops me with two hands on my shoulders. 

"Tara drove Jacquelyn to the hospital." Freddy tells us with remorse in his gaze. Kozik stiffens beside me. 

"What happened?" Kozik's voice is full of the same tension I feel in my chest. 

"She was out cold when we got here. Opie got Tara over as soon as we realized how serious it was." Freddy exhales. "Bad head would. He must I've hit her upside the head with something. We couldn't get him to tell us anything he did, to either of them."

" _Fuck!"_ Kozik cries out before turning to me. Without saying a word, I toss him the keys to Lorca's truck. 

"Go." He doesn't hesitate, he's out the door before my next inhale. 

"Victoria?" I lock eyes with Freddy, but he refuses to meet mine. 

"She's in Jac's room with Opie." His voice is low and he offers nothing else, but I need answers. I need facts and action. 

"And Cameron?" 

"Master bedroom. We didn't want to do anything with him until you got here. We figured you'd want to handle it." 

"Good call." Freddy steps to the side so I can pass. I come to Jacquelyn's room first. When I open the door, my heart about explodes in my chest. Victoria sits on the bed, her knees pulled to her chest, her back to the headboard as she listens to something Opie is mumbling to her from the dining room chair beside the bed he must've brought in here. The words are too soft for me to hear, but when the door opens both of their faces snap to see who it is and the bearded man goes silent. 

There's a purple bruise on her jaw, but other than that her face is intact and I feel some of the heat flood out of my body like a tidal wave. Her face is red, her eyes puffy as she looks at me, but like Freddy, she can't look me in the eyes. I stare at her for a moment with my hand on the knob, unable to move from this spot. She looks a wreck. Instead of going to her like I know I should, I back out and shut the door behind me. Freddy stands there with his arms crossed over his chest. 

"I want to see him." Freddy stares for a long, hard moment before giving me a sharp nod of the head. I follow him further down the hallway to the master bedroom. We step inside and I see Cameron sitting on the floor, his ankles duct taped as well as his hands. There's a strip over his mouth, too and when we enter the room, he looks at me with a hollow expression. 

"You've got a lot of fucking nerve." I breathe out as I step further into the room and kneel down in front of him. 

There's no fear in his eyes and that fills me with rage. While Victoria sits in the next room over looking completely destroyed, he sits here as calm as can be. That just won't do. I'll make him fear me one way or the other, just before I end his existence with the same knife I threatened him with in the beginning. 

"You come into my house and put your hands on things that don't belong to you." I reach out and take the duct tape over his mouth between my fingers before ripping it off. 

"You're scum." A smirk forms on his lips as he looks me up and down. "Fucking trash. You two deserve each other." 

"You're about to find out just who I am." I whisper as I lean in closer, only a few inches from him now. "You'll be begging this piece of fucking trash for your life before it's all said and done." I stand up once again, but keep my eyes locked on him. 

I feel the darkness creeping in. It's familiar, a black blanket of comfort that wraps itself around me. It's the same darkness I feel when I'm asked to do something a normal person would refuse. I close my eyes as a smirk forms on my lips before I look back down at him. There's a glimmer of uncertainty in his eyes as he watches the transformation take place. It fills me with fucking giddiness. He'll scream like a bitch, cry for his mother, beg to meet his maker before I'm done with him. 

_"I'm_ your God now." I seethe and I watch as his eyes flicker down to the floor.


	17. Hell Hath No Fury

**VICTORIA**

Tara's hands are cool on my upper arms as she guides me out of Jacquelyn's bedroom and down the hallway. From the safety of my best friend's bed, I had heard nothing but chaos for the last few hours. I'd laid in that bed and tried to sleep, but every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was Cameron over me. The sound of the mattress shifting. The feel of his hot breath on my skin. It makes my stomach turn. The memories send a current of sick chills through my body. 

"Come on." Tara encourages as she forces me further, but I'm stopped in my tracks by the sound of a muffled scream coming from my own bedroom. "Just ignore it." She whispers in my ear as she gives me a little push. 

"What are they doing to him?" I whisper while looking back over my shoulder where the sounds are coming from. As we enter the living area, I see Bobby and Gemma deep in conversation on the couch. 

"Don't even worry about it." Tara tells me as she releases her grip. 

"Hey, baby." Gemma stands and comes over to envelope me in a tight hug. I feel like a limp rag doll in her arms, no energy to raise my own to embrace her. Instead, I just stand there and let her squeeze me. "You're going to come stay at my house for a few days, okay?" Gemma whispers in my ear before releasing me. She reaches up to hold my face in her hands, but I keep my gaze locked on the black pendant necklace around her neck. 

"I'm going to go pack some of her things." Tara tells the older woman before disappearing back down the hall. More muffled screams filter to the front of the house and I find myself turning back to look. 

"Hey," Gemma takes my face once again and I stumble backwards, the simple motion reminding me of Cameron's touch. "Victoria." The look on her face is full of confusion when I almost trip over my own feet to get away. "What's the matter?" 

"What are they doing to him?" I ask for the second time. Some part of me deep down needs to know. 

"Why don't we just get you to the car?" She reaches for me, but I take another step back. 

"I want to see him." I manage to raise my gaze to meet hers and I see Bobby has stood and come over to stand beside her. Before anyone can speak, the door opens and Chibs steps inside. Something about seeing the man who was my shadow, my protector for fourteen months fills me with a sense of calm. With just one look from the Scotsman, I feel courage. 

"Now, now sweetheart. It's time to go." Chibs comes over and wraps an arm around my shoulder, drawing me into a hug that makes my chest tighten. It's the safest I've felt in twenty-four hours. 

"I want to look at his face." I breathe out into the leather of his kutte. Chibs pulls back and his eyes are filled with the same sadness as everyone else I've seen. 

"That's not going to help matters. You don't need to see him like that." 

"Like what?" Chibs gives me a knowing glance. 

"Hap told us to get you out of the house." The bearded biker speaks from beside Gemma, his voice low and soothing, but it does nothing for me now. Without saying a word, I turn on my heel and head back down the hallway towards the master bedroom. 

"Victoria!" Gemma calls out after me, but I ignore her. When I get to the door, I don't hesitate to push it open. Three sets of eyes snap over to see who has intruded. Jackson, Tig, and Happy. Chibs comes up behind and takes my wrist in his grip, but I rip it away while taking a step into the room. Gemma and Bobby follow after us while calling out my name. 

"I thought I told you to get her out of here." Happy snaps at Bobby who stands just inside the room, but he doesn't even look me in the eyes. Cameron lays on the bed, his arms and legs bound to the head and footboard. He doesn't move or say anything. The bedsheets are covered in blood and he's been stripped of his clothes. Deep cuts cover his body as he lays there groaning with his eyes closed. 

"I'm not going to manhandle the girl, Hap." Happy takes a few steps towards us, his prized hunting knife clutched in his hand. Jackson stands from the armchair by the window and the look on his face is almost fearful, like he's not sure what Happy is capable of in this moment. 

"Get her the _fuck_ out." He seethes through clenched teeth while pointing at me. The knife is covered in blood. Cameron's blood. I can't pull my gaze away from it. 

"Happy—" I try to look at him, but my confidence is shaken by the scene in front of me. I look up at his face and a part of me wishes I hadn't. There's a smear of blood on his cheek and his eyes are pitch black. I've never seen him this way, so unhinged, so terrifying. I watch as his chest rises and falls with heavy breaths, but still he says nothing to me. 

"Let's go, Victoria." Bobby takes me by the shoulders and pulls me from the room. This time I don't protest. I allow him to push me down the hall without a word. He doesn't let go until we are out of the house and at Genma's car. Tara comes out a moment later with a duffel bag packed full of who knows what and she places it in the backseat before hopping in her own car and pulling away. 

"You hungry, sweetheart?" Gemma asks a little while later from the driver's seat of the Cadillac.

"No." I rest my elbow on the door and watch the passing scenery. 

"You should eat something." I force a believable smile while turning to look at her. 

"I'm really not hungry, Gem, but thank you." She let's out a sigh. "Have you heard any news on Jacquelyn?" 

"Tara was headed to the hospital when we left. She's going to call when she finds out how she's doing." My throat feels tight as I think of my best friend. Bits and pieces of what happened before I came to in my bed have been drifting in and out of my mind. They're foggy, but clearer every time. 

I can see Jacquelyn, drunk out of her mind but still fierce as she tried to tackle Cameron the moment he put his hands on me. Her arms were flailing, swinging wildly through the air as she knocked him off balance. The alcohol in her system made her uncoordinated and slow, so she didn't stand a chance when he turned to focus his rage on her. 

Cameron had gotten a few hits in before I got my bearings after being slammed into the wall, causing my vision to go fuzzy. I'd tried to push him off her, but that earned me a punch to the stomach that knocked the wind out of me. By the time I managed to suck air into my lungs while I laid on the living room floor, Jacquelyn's face was bloody and she no longer fought back. 

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Gemma pulls me out of my thoughts and I suck in a breath as I think that over, but she speaks again before giving me a chance to open my mouth. "I know what you're going through." She reaches over to dig into her purse resting between us on the center console. From it she pulls a pack of smokes and lights one. "Maybe not the same situation, but I know what it's like to have someone try and break you down in the worst way." 

"How do you mean?" I raise a brow as I turn to look at her. 

"A few years ago, some enemies of the club attacked me." Gemma pauses while letting out a long exhale of smoke. "I was angry for a really long time and I kept it all suppressed inside. It wasn't until I told my son and Clay what happened, that I felt truly free of it." 

"Is it still with you?" I press a hand over the left side of my chest. "In here?" She throws me a side glance as a soft smile pulls at the corner of her mouth. 

"Of course," The smile grows, her eyes warm and kind. "but it stops hurting so much after some time. You're strong, I know that pretty well by now. It's going to be hard and you're going to feel really angry for a while, but that's okay. You just need to know you don't need to keep it bottled up. There's so many people who love you, who would kill for you, so don't feel like you need to suffer alone." 

We ride along in a comfortable silence for a bit longer as I try to digest everything she's just told me. I always knew Gemma was a remarkable person, but knowing she can relate to the way I'm feeling and still be that strong woman everyone expects her to be, makes me admire her even more. I feel like I could collapse inside of myself, bury myself in a hole and never come out, but she's living, breathing proof that it won't feel this way forever. 

"Is Happy going to be okay?" I ask as we pull into the driveway of her and Clay's home. 

"Don't you worry about him, sweetheart." 

"I can't help it. I don't want him to go back to prison because of me. If he kills Cameron," I trail off as Gemma puts the car in park, the images overwhelming me, and turns to look my way, the cigarette poised delicately between her first two fingers. 

"That man loves you and another man had the nerve to violate what he loves." She shakes her head. "They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but they have never met your old man." I squeeze my hands together in my lap as I think of what he's capable of. I had heard stories and people joke about his intensity all the time, but I had never seen it with my own eyes until today. "Happy is going to work through this shit in his own way. No one can stop him, now." 

"I couldn't handle him going back to Stockton." I breathe out as I feel my throat clench. 

"You could. Listen," She leans to toss the cigarette out of the window. "We don't get to choose how they react to situations. That's one of the many, many rules of being an old lady." 

"We should have a say. It's our life, too." 

"They know what's best. Now, let's get inside and make some dinner, okay? The boys will be hungry when they get here." 

Dinner comes together without much conversation between us. It's as if Gemma knows I need some time inside my head, so she turns on the stereo in on the kitchen counter to a low setting, and we work side by side without speaking. By the time the roast is in the oven and the side dishes have been covered until everyone gets here, I feel a heaviness in my limbs and mind. 

"Hey, Gem?" She pops her head up from the pineapple upside down cake she's putting the finishing touches on. 

"Yeah, baby?" 

"Could you show me where I'm staying? I'm kind of tired." I reach for the duffel bag filled with my clothes and sling it over my shoulder as she wipes her hands on a towel. 

"Of course, come on." I follow her to the back of the house, feeling slightly awkward, as she leads me to a small hallway with two doors. "Guest bathroom is just here," She points to the one on our right. "Bedroom is this one on the left. No one comes back this way much with it just being me and Clay, so no one will bother you." 

"Thank you, Gemma, really." She reaches out as if she's going to take my hand, but stops herself. I'm reminded of the way I had almost leaped out of her reach when she tried to do that exact thing in my living room hours before. Instead, she offers me a warm smile and heads back for the kitchen without another word. 

Inside is a minimally decorated bedroom with thick, cream colored curtains covering the windows and an antique looking rug on the floor. The bedspread is a busy floral pattern of reds and creams, the furniture dark wood that looks expensive and it all seems so much like Gemma. Her footprint is everywhere in the decor. 

I toss the duffel down and dig around inside for a set of pajamas. I strip down, doing my best not to look at myself in the vanity mirror on the opposite wall, before pulling on the flannel top and bottom set. Once I'm fully dressed and satisfied with the coverage, I climb onto the four poster bed and bury myself under the thick blankets. The house is quiet and I let out a long exhale as I try to think of anything but what Happy is doing at this very moment. 

A few moments later, there's a soft knock on the door and Gemma pops her head in. In her hands she holds a glass of water and a bottle of medicine. She comes further into the room and hands me the glass while taking a seat on the edge of the bed. 

"Melatonin." She outstretched her hand holding the bottle. "Take one of these, it'll make falling asleep a little easier. Tara assured me it wouldn't interact with whatever Cameron gave you. It's a natural supplement." 

"It's only seven." I point at the clock on the dresser beside the bed. 

"You need to get some sleep. If you wake up at an odd hour and decide you're hungry, the kitchen is yours. Our room is on the other side of the house, you won't wake us up." I think that over for a moment before taking the pills from her. "You're safe here." She reassures me. 

"Thank you." Gemma nods her head before standing and heading for the door. 

"Goodnight, baby." With that, she closes the door and leaves me alone. I've never taken anything for sleep before, but if this will help me rest without worrying, I'm willing to try it, so I pop one in my mouth and swallow it down. For an hour I stare at the ceiling, thoughts racing a mile a minute, but then my eyes begin to burn with fatigue and my eyelids become heavy. After that, I fall into a dreamless sleep.


	18. Wait

It's dark by the time I open my eyes. The clock on the dresser shows it's nearing four in the morning and I'm surprised at how long I slept. The house is quiet as I stretch and try to get my bearings, but when my gaze moves about the room, I freeze when I see a tall figure sitting in the leather arm chair by the window. The momentary panic eases when I recognize the silhouette. The only movement he makes is to turn his head from the view outside to me. From here, I can see his eyes are still black orbs of emptiness. 

"How long have you been here?" I whisper as I turn on my side and rest my head on the palm of my hand. 

"Couple hours." His words are clipped and to the point. I nod even though he probably can't see it from the cocoon of blankets I'm wrapped in. 

"You could've woken me up, you know I wouldn't mind." He's quiet for a few moments, but his stare never wavers. 

"Didn't know what to say." Those simple words eat away at my chest, but I force a brave face. I sit up a little further and scoot so I'm on the opposite side of the bed while holding up the blankets. 

"Come to bed." He doesn't move as he thinks the offer over, but after a few ticks he kicks his boots off and shrugs out of the leather kutte. I watch every move he makes with slow curiosity, they're mechanical, like a robot, like I was under Cameron's hold. 

Happy climbs in to the spot I had just been occupying, but it's not lost on me that he keeps his distance as he lays on his back staring up at the ceiling. He doesn't reach for me like he usually does. Before, when he'd come home late from a run, he'd pull me against him, mumble sweet nothings in my ear that he would never breathe when the sun was up. Words he would never allow anyone else to hear except for us in the safety of our bed. Our bed has been tarnished. It's no longer safe, no longer the place for the two of us. There will always be a third person there, haunting us. 

I go to touch his arm, but he holds up and hand to halt my motion. Instead of insisting, I tuck my arm back under the blanket and rest my head on the pillow. 

"You can't touch me." His tone is low, dangerous almost. He's taken a shower recently, I can smell the body wash on his skin and I start to wonder if that was for my sake. Did he wash away the blood? Did the shower cleanse him of all his sins or is he reliving them now inside his head as he avoids me. 

"Why?" My eyes scan every inch of him I can see and I watch as he breathes, his chest rising and falling with heavy exhales, feeling slightly dejected. 

"Just need some time." 

"Did you kill him?" The words are barely audible, but lack any real emotion. At this point, I couldn't care less where Cameron ends up. He became someone I don't know, the person I loved once before died long ago. The day I left, maybe. The only thing I worry about now is Happy. Happy and his soul. 

"Yes." He doesn't hesitate, doesn't look my way at all. It's a strange feeling to know it's over just like that. I feel nothing. I expected relief, a sense of calm maybe, but nothing comes. The silence is deafening between us as he stares at the ceiling and I stare at him. 

I'm afraid of losing him, of him crumbling inside himself because of what happened, of what he had to do to extinguish the rage caused by someone I brought into his life. The stories linger inside my head, pushing to the forefront now. The stories of Happy's cruelty, his demons, the darkness that swallows him whole from time to time. The way he disappears inside himself for weeks on end, months even, taking out his violent rage on anyone who stands in his path. 

__

'They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but they've never met your old man.' 

__

I see him with a smear of blood on his cheek looking empty and terrifying. I see him as a helpless child cowering under anything big enough to shield him from the father who abused him and I know I can't just let him disappear right here in front of me. After the last twenty-four hours, it should be me that needs consoling, me that's dripping with hate, but the lack of it only solidifies the way I feel for him. I feel nothing for myself, only for him. 

"Hey." I whisper as I sit up. His eyes flicker my way, but he doesn't move as I scoot closer. I sit up on my knees and crawl over the rest of the way. Tension radiates off of him as I press a flat palm over his heart. It races under my touch, his body is burning with heat, but on the outside he's cool and calm, his expression vacant. I slip a leg over his waist and rest my body over his hips. "Don't shut me out." I stare down at him, my hair falling over one shoulder like a black curtain. 

"Victoria, don't." He mumbles while taking my hips in his firm grasp. The grip tightens as he tries to push me back over to my side, but I lean down so our chests are flush. A sharp breath leaves his throat, like he's in pain as he looks to the ceiling once more, his grip slackening as he lays his palms flat on the sheets. "Please, don't." He pleads but I take his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me. 

"Let it go." His pupils are blown, I can see that now and it sends a chill down my spine. This person under me, I don't know him. I want my Happy back, I need him. "Look at me." He refuses, keeping his gaze anywhere but on me as he lays as still as a statue, but I refuse to give up. "Look at me, damnit." I grit out, my hands tighten around his chin. 

"Fucking _stop._ " He sneers while using all of his force to push me over so its me flat on the mattress. In a second he's over me, his palm flat on my chest, forcing me to stay down. I can feel the tears burning at the backs of my eyes, but I keep them at bay by sheer willpower alone. His legs lock around my own as he straddles me and my stomach turns.

"Don't let it consume you." My voice feels little as my heart races under his hand, he can feel it. His eyes are glued to that spot. After what feels like forever, the two of us locked in a stalemate, the pressure lessens as he sits back. With a quick slip of his hands, he pulls my legs out from under him and rests them in his lap, my knees locked and raised as his rough hands brush over the skin of my ankles. 

"When I was a kid, I eliminated fear from my existence." I rest back into the pillows, but keep my gaze locked on him as he squeezes my feet in his hands, like just that part of me is keeping him grounded. "I don't think about it. I face death every single time I put on that kutte. I know every morning when I wake up that today could be the day." 

I try to sit up, try to reach for him, but he leans over my legs and forces me back down. I slip my legs around his waist and his hands move to rest on my thighs out of habit, but something shifts inside him and he places them on the bed instead. My heart drops at the fact that there's a war going on inside his head when it comes to touching me, like I'm tainted. 

"I could lay my bike down at sixty and be gone like that." Happy snaps his finger to prove his point. "I could get hit with a bullet, could get my ass beat into the concrete, anything." His eyes lock on my face and it's almost haunting, the way the moon illuminates his bone structure. "I felt fucking afraid the entire way back from Tacoma. I couldn't fucking breathe it was so strong. I don't remember the drive." 

Happy is quiet for a moment as his eyes travel down my body. I feel strangely exposed even though I'm clothed in a long sleeve and pants, like he can see straight through me. I'm afraid to breathe, afraid to move, almost as if he's going to jump from the bed and disappear altogether. He looks cornered, like a wild animal and my hands itch to comfort him, but I know the second I make a move, he'll bolt. 

"I can't imagine anything feeling any worse than what I felt then." Despite my better judgement, I sit up before he can tell me no and wrap my arms around his neck. To my surprise, he doesn't fight, but he doesn't exactly comply, either. His hands don't move to hold me, he just rests his head on my shoulder. 

"I'm sorry." I whisper against the side of his head as he pulls in a deep inhale, but once he registers the apology, he pulls back with narrowed eyes. 

" _You're_ sorry?" My throat clenches as I nod. Just like that, he pulls back and stands from the bed. He paces the room, the corned animal inside him irritated and volatile. I sit up on my knees and watch him, having no idea what to do.

"Please, just talk to me." A few more paces of the room and then he finally comes to a stop. 

"You love a fucking monster, Victoria." Happy seethes. "You're apologizing to a man who just gutted your ex-boyfriend, who fucking destroyed him until there was nothing left." 

My stomach turns, but I refuse to give him what he wants, to push him away. That's exactly what he's trying to do here, make me fear him until I can't stand the sight of his face. I refuse to give in to his stubborn demons. 

"But that wasn't enough. Watching him cry and beg for his life wasn't nearly enough." He lets that sink in before speaking again. "I could've kept going. I could've sat inside that room with him for a week and it still wouldn't have been _enough_. I could have. I could've drawn it out, kept him holding on just enough to stay awake, peeled his skin off from the feet up. He deserved that after having the nerve to violate you, to drug you, to put his dirty fucking hands on what's mine."

At this point I'm afraid he's going to wake Gemma and Clay. He's gotten progressively louder as the words fall from his mouth, but if they can hear us, they make no sign of it. Maybe if they are awake, they know better than to interrupt him. 

"You did what had to be done." An eerie laugh fills my ears as he thinks that one over. 

"I'm a monster." He repeats. "A sick, demented fucking monster and you think that you love me."

"You're not." I try to defend him, but he won't hear it. "I do, Happy. I do love you."

"I have to go." He storms over to the chair he had been occupying when I woke up and slips his arms through the sleeves of his kutte before sitting down to lace up his boots. 

"Don't just walk out of here, Happy." I stand from the bed and kneel down in front of him. "We have to work through this." I plead with him while resting my hands on his knees. 

"You need to go back to sleep." He raises a hand to point at the bed. 

"Where will you go?" 

"Ride until I can't anymore. I'll pass out at the clubhouse." Happy stands without another word and exits the room. Needless to say, sleep doesn't come and when the sun rises, I feel nothing but dread in the pit of my stomach.

___

The hospital waiting room is quiet and mostly empty by the time Gemma make it inside. The only person sitting in one of the plastic chairs is Kozik. He looks terrible with his chin resting on his palm, his eyes closed like he's asleep. From here, I can see the dark circles under his eyes. Gemma steps over and rests a hand on his back and his eyes snap open, like he's been startled.

"You get any sleep?" Gemma asks as she takes a seat beside him and closes her hands around one of his. I sit down in the one across from him while gripping my own hands tight enough to leave moon shaped indentions on my palms. News of Jacquelyn has been hard to come by. She's been in the ICU since her arrival and it seems getting a straight answer from any of those doctors was rough for Tara. Kozik clears his throat before he speaks and runs a hand over his mouth. I'm not use to seeing him with stubble, but it's obvious he hasn't left to shower or shave. 

"Um, she was okay until a few hours ago. I was in there with her, they let me." He mumbles, his voice cracking, as his gaze wanders around the room. There's red rings around his eyes like he's been crying and that surprises me. I've never seen any of the Sons cry. In fact, I've never seen any man cry really except for Cameron. Just the fleeting thought of him causes my palms to sweat, my throat to clench. "One minute she was stable, the next the monitors were going crazy. They told me I had to leave." Gemma rubs circles over his back as we listen. 

"Has Tara been down to talk with the doctors?" I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees as my stomach turns. I should've been here sooner. I should've been waiting for Jacquelyn to wake up right alongside Kozik, but I wasn't. Kozik shakes his head. 

"No, she had a surgery so she couldn't. She said she would be down after. That was before—" He doesn't finish. Like me, he leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees. His head falls into his hands as his shoulders shake and I realize he is indeed shedding tears. My heart breaks for him. It breaks for me because she's my best friend, my rock, and I have no idea what's happening. 

"I'll go see if I can talk to someone." Gemma pats him one last time before standing and heading over to the nurses station. She exchanges some hushed words that I can't hear, but my focus is on Kozik. I stand and take the spot Gem had just been occupying and slip my arm under his. I take his hand in mine and squeeze, which causes him took up at me through watery, bloodshot eyes. 

"She's going to be okay." I whisper as he squeezes my hand in return. 

"She has to be." There's desperation in his voice. "I can't live without her, now." My lips form a rigid line as I realize just how much he cares for her, maybe just as much as I do. 

Time passes in silence as the three of us sit alone in the waiting room, hoping with every passing doctor or nurse that there will be news, but none comes. It seems even Gemma, who always seems to know what to say, has been silenced for the time being. When I look at the clock on the wall, almost two hours have ticked by without any real notice. Finally, Tara comes down the hall with a clipboard in hand. The sight of her seems to ease a little bit of the tension, as her face holds no shock or horror. 

"Sorry it took so long." She comes over and sits in the chair beside Gemma. It's not lost on me that there seems to be some tension between the two, but I can't worry about what that might be about right now. "Jacquelyn had a pretty serious hemorrhage in her brain." I suck in a breath, knowing that can't be good. "The surgeon got it under control. He had to drill a hole in her skull to release some of the pressure, but she's been stable for the last hour." 

"When can we see her?" Gemma questions while looking at Kozik who seems to be a little bit relieved. He leans over and rests his hand on my knee, giving it a soft squeeze of hope. I feel my chest lighten for the first time in over a day. 

"She's going to be in recovery for a while, so I wouldn't count on it being any time today. Doctor Chamberlain is the best in his field, she's in safe hand." Her eyes rest on me. Tara offers me a warm smile before standing. "You guys really need to get some rest of your own." Her eyes bounce from me to Kozik. "There's nothing you can do for her right now. I'll call as soon as I hear anything, I promise." Kozik shifts in his chair while shaking his head. 

"I'm going to stay." I don't miss the stubbornness in his tone and a part of me appreciates it. I appreciate that he cares for her so much that he's willing to sit in these god awful chairs like a zombie until she wakes up. 

"I'll wait with you." I offer and the look on his face tells me he's grateful. 

"I've got a few things I need to do, but I'll be back to get you." Gemma stands and follows Tara, but stops before she reaches the door. "You got a phone?" She asks me. 

"No." 

"I've got her." Kozik offers. "We'll call you." That seems to satisfy the matriarch and she disappears out the double doors, leaving the two of us to sit and wait.


End file.
